8 Awesome Trailers for 8 Unspeakably Bad Movies

Read'em and weep, folks at just what could have been. At what we were promised. At what we thought we were paying for.

by Cameron Carpenter

by no means a definitive list, merely eight examples of awesome trailers for, what audiences came to find out, awful full-length feature films. Read'em and weep, folks at just what could have been. At what we were promised. At what we thought we were paying for.

8. Torque

Hoping to cash in on the fact that people actually saw two The Fast and the Furious movies already, director Joseph Kahn pulled out this doozy of a film with a promising, fairly awesome trailer. Let's do a quick checklist: zip-action camera angles, long-haired street-savvy hero, impressive motorcycle stunts (including a truly fantastic last sequence on a train), babes (do people still refer to these women as "babes?") and all the Ice Cube you could ever ask for, Torque seems to know exactly what it is in the trailer, and it's completely unashamed and full-throttle. So why is the movie filled with cringe-worthy action sequences, awkward acting, choppy editing, and a go-nowhere plot? Any film that has two strong female characters duking it out on motorbikes has to be so awesome that it can't be killed with cliche lines like "You messed with the wrong chick!" (only to be topped off with "Looks like you did...*itch.") but, Torque manages to "impress" on a whole new level.

 
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Contributor
Contributor

Cameron Carpenter is an aspiring screenwriter, current film and journalism student, and self-diagnosed cinephile, which only sounds bad in certain circles. Devoted fan of comics, movies, theater, Jesus Christ, Sidney Lumet, and Peter O'Toole, he sometimes spends too much time on his Scribd and comicbookmovie.com, but doesn't think you're one to judge, devoted reader. You can follow him on Twitter to watch him talk to people you didn't know exist. Oh, and Daredevil is quite the big deal around here (my head).