Movie monsters are as important a part of fiction as even starlets or leading men. The word monster is derived from the Latin ‘Monstrare’ which means to show (also linked to the word ‘demonstrate’). A good movie monster can show you your fears made flesh, and create a feeling of uneasiness that’s deeply rooted in the resulting response from your psyche.
Usually – not always though, especially nowadays – monster movies need to have some sort of satisfactory ending, which is to say, the plot and the story have to both be resolved in some comprehendible way. Any monster must be given an appropriate weakness, which the characters can then exploit in order to bring about its destruction and end the movie.
But sometimes, a monster comes along that in reality you just would not be able to stop, contain or destroy – however, the principals of film still apply, and even these monsters are usually given appropriate weaknesses, which allow them to be dispatched in time for the credits.
I had a look back over my film-consumption history at some of the monsters that would have wreaked untold havoc on our world, should they ever find themselves existing for realz. Thankfully though, this article is entirely hypothetical. If there were the possibility of anything in this list suddenly sharing our Earth, I wouldn’t be writing right now, I’d be out buying lots of guns and ammunition.
So let’s get to it shall we?
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22 Comments
Good list. I ain’t bragging but I reckon I could stop a Predator. After all in AVP we’re taught without their weapons they’re a bunch of pussies…right?
Let’s just pretend that AVP didn’t happen, okay?
The list’s validity largely depends on the author defining the terms of combat. I could defeat a heavyweight champion if I caught him taking a dump and I had an Uzi.
wicked article
This article is like two 8 year olds arguing over who would win in a race between Superman and The Flash.
Grow up!!
Get an imagination!
And it’s the Flash, he’s faster than Superman by a small margin. Duh!
…How is this remotely like that? There’s not even a comparison drawn between two things. Graduate 8th grade, then tell us to grow up, scooter.
Great list.. too bad for us..
“The Thing shows a modicum of intelligence, thanks to gaining sentience from its human victims, ”
So if the small bit of intelligence was gained from the human victims, then who built the spaceshipthat bought it to Earth???
The T-1000 can only mimic people that it touches, not simply everyone it sees.
Whatever species it assimilated before it got to Earth.
I believe Gremlins had to come into contact with liquid H20 in order to multiply. They hang out in the snow for much of the first movie and nothing happened. (This could be a plothole though)
the irony is:- the list topper won’t even attack Earth, because we will never pose any kind of threat on its queen, we won’t even know about her existence, lol
Unless the Weyland Yutani Corporation finally manages to bring some of them to Earth like they’ve been trying to do in just about every movie. Never seen the series I’m guessing. Didn’t even read the article I’m guessing.
What? What about Godzilla? Nukes can’t kill that thing.
You missed the borg. They always adapt. You may kill 2 or 3, eventually nothing can stop them, they have assimilated millions of races including mankind.
sorry, but did you watch Aliens? The Colonial Marines were mowing them down left and right, and before you point out the futuristic weaponry, remember that Hicks uses a modern looking shotgun and Vasquez a modern looking pistol on them and it kills them. It was only writer’s fiat (the threat of blowing up the reactor that kept them from using more powerful ammo and weapons) that kept them from pwning them even more. There’s nothing about the xenomorphs that implies them to be an apocalyptic threat. They’re effective against a small colony of humans with next to no weapons (Aliens) and in an enclosed spaceship where spilling their acid blood could be a disaster(Alien). And that’s all they need to be. They could wipe out a village or a small colony, but all it takes is getting the word out; I’m pretty sure there are levels of weaponry available between nukes and what the Marines had.
My one problem with this list is that originally Freddy wasn’t a pedo. He murdered children when he was alive and continued after his death starting with the children of the people who burned him. It was only in that terrible reboot that they decided it would be “edgier” to make him a pedo. I guess it was a cheap attempt to push the audiences buttons.
I prefer to pretend that “Freddy is a pedo” BS movie just never happened. But it did. :-(
Think the Xenos would be the biggest threat besides a dream hopping polter. Sure the Preds hunt them and all, but the Preds don’t consider us much more than cattle for feeding the Xenos. The Xenos are like ants, they’ll dig deep and pick off the weak and shelterless and have an army before anyone knows what’s going on. Yeah they can be taken down with regular slug throwers, but you gotta know it’s there and have good aim to take one down. They have killer camo and move like a schizo cat on roids.
I always wondered why’d they send a t’1000 back in time. even if there was only one t-1000, a post apocolyptic human race would stand less of a chance against him, then our generation.
Your #1 was already busted in AvP: Requiem. Try again.