Unlike Danny Glover, Bruce Willis is quite clearly not too old for this s**t, because Valentine’s Day 2013 will see the release of the fifth in the jibe heavy Die Hard series; A Good Day To Die Hard. Love them or hate them, each Die Hard movie has its own very special time and place in our lives, and John McClane is, quite frankly, as legitimately lasting as any James Bond, John Rambo or T-101.
The last time Bruce Willis visited his career-making role was in 2007’s Live Free Or Die Hard (Die Hard 4.0) and it felt like it may well have been the last time we said goodbye to New York’s finest detective. However, despite the film’s lukewarm reception, 20th Century Fox felt there was enough bite left in the old dog to revive him for another outing.
It is difficult to tell just yet, but if the trailers are anything to go by, this could well be the best McClane adventure since the original incarnation. And chances are that A Good Day To Die Hard will bring in enough profit to warrant a sixth outing. The question is; where do we go from here?
Well dear reader – behold my five suggestions of pun filled, and increasingly outlandish suggestions for the speculative Die Hard 6. Welcome to the party pal.
5. Die Hardest
2 out of the 5 Die Hard movies have involved the Gruber clan, so it would make perfect sense for that tyrannical German bloodline to crop up again. Following whatever state McClane and his bambinos are left in after Die Hard 5, number 6 could see them taking on the remnant of Hans and Simon’s family – Taken 2 style, except…you know…watchable. Cue the Beethoven, “Yippee Ki-Yay”, and helicopter explosions.
With A Good Day To Die Hard moving outside American boarders to Russia, maybe we could have Die Hardest take place in Berlin or Munich. I can see it now; McClane speeding down the Autobarn in a Mercedes with the German equivalent of Argyle trying a Bratverst and saying they have nothing on a good old New York hotdog.
Germany is home of the Christmas tree, so it would be a great chance to get the franchise back to its festive roots. In fact, it even paves the way for the final death scene; a Christmas tree littered with the last remaining Grubers, all shot up and dead. Frohe Weihnachten, b****es.
Tagline: Welcome To A Nation With Feet Smaller Than Your Sister
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8 Comments
that’s freaking hillarious. just another idea ( die hard bitch ) where mclane is going after his ex-wife holly who ripped him off all his money and married his best friend zuis
Live Free Or Die Hard lukewarm reception?! The movie was praised by critics with a 81% approval rating from critics. It certainly wasn’t a failure at the box office either. You should really do more research before making statements like that. It was my least favorite of the franchise because it made McClane feel more super hero than human. But it can’t be denied that it was popular with most people.
81% is hardly praise, it is just suprise because Die Hard 3 was so crap, and Len Wiseman is an awful director.
It has 69 on meta critic and barely broke even on domestic box office. Thats makes it a luke warm reception. Its not the critics that define a films performance, its the people who buy the tickets. I dont hear anyone crying out that Die Hard 4 is their top choice. I never said it was a failure. So maybe you should really do some of your own research first too.
You’re trying to downplay that there were more positive reviews for the film than negative. In general, most critics praised it. “81% is hardly praise”? So I suppose that the originals 94% is hardly praise either. Die Hard 4 had 204 reviews that they used for a percentage as opposed to the 50 reviews that they used to come up with percentage for the original. Having that many critics opinions thrown in and coming out with that high of a percentage is definitely praise. 81% is 81% bud.
Even 69% on meta critic means that most of the critics that they referred to gave it a favorable review. That is actually a good score for an action movie. Metacritic even mentions beside the 69% percentage “generally favorable reviews”. It also mentions that this percentage is only based on 34 critics as opposed to the 204 critics that Rotten Tomatoes used. Out of those 34, 28 of them gave the movie a generally positive review according to their breakdown. The user score on metacritic gives the film a 7.8 with 197 positive reviews out of a total of 224 reviews. 10 were mixed and only 17 were negative. It’s strange to tell me to do more research when you didn’t seem to take the time to look any of this up. Check out the site for yourself …
http://www.metacritic.com/movie/live-free-or-die-hard
Also Flixster has an 86% approval rating based on it’s users which is just your average movie goers folks.
Scroll through Metacritic, Rotten Tomatoes, and Flixster to see that there are definitely some out there crying out that Die Hard 4 is their favorite in the series. I think that generally most would agree that the original is far superior but many seem to think that this was the best sequel.
As far as the box office goes the film made almost 4 times it’s budget worldwide. I don’t think many would think of that as lukewarm. Then it had successful DVD sales to take into account. There are definitely articles out there that you could find that would discuss the movies success because I remember reading a bunch during it’s release. I’m not the biggest fan of the movie so I’m not blindly defending it. It’s just the way it is.
Obviously this all adds up to why the studio has been on Willis’s ass the last 5 years to make another one. Anyways, I liked your article otherwise. It’s an amusing and fun article for a fan of Die Hard. The jabs about doing more research wasn’t necessary so I apologize about that. I’m just anal when it comes to getting facts right.
Mike i appreciate your thoughts. My goal is to get people inspired to whatever degree. So the fact you felt the need to comment on my post is a plus for me.
Sorry if i seemed defensive. I think we can agree that there are way too many avenues to give a concrete overview of a film as it was when it first came out. I personally like Die Hard 4, but just feel that it was one of those films which gained appreciation after the fact rather than upon initial release – much like Fight Club.
Either way, im stoked for A Good Day To Die Hard.
Old Habits Die Hard…
Genius.
I wanna say one thing first, I see a lot of people hate on DH3. I have no idea why you’d think that, it is in many ways still just like the first on a bigger scale. DH3 kept you guessing, on the edge of your seat, where is the next bomb? What’s Simons plan? Why can’t McClane & HeyZeu- sorry, Zeus get along? Also this one got out of Christmas time and lost Allen, which would have been a bit repetitive if done once more, probably why I wasn’t such a fan of DH2, as it felt rushed and awkward, but nonetheless still an amazing film. You can’t compete with the original, end of story. DH4 wasn’t that bad honestly. I see heaps of people talk smack about it, especially the rating part. Sure it wasn’t following the tone set from the previous three but I felt like this new one marked the start of a new trilogy where *ahem* John would try regain trust with his family and be reunited again where as in the first trilogy he kinda drifted away from them, as by DH3 he had not spoken to Holly for a year after a fight on the phone. I have not seen DH5 yet, as it has not reached Australian shores yet but I’m assuming he will make amends with his son, Jack, and as Bruce Willis’ stated himself, he wanted to do a sixth film before retiring the character, so for DH6 are we looking at the reunion of the whole McClane family… including Holly? :)