Alex Reviews Terminator Genisys - The Stupidest Time Travel Movie Ever?

"I'll be back." Yeah, please don't.

Rating: ˜…˜… Time travel shouldn't be difficult to understand. It really shouldn't. And if you are struggling with this entirely fictitious construct, then the movie (or book or whatever) you€™re basing your understanding on is probably flawed. The Terminator is the prime example of it done right. James Cameron€™s intense chase thriller uses time travel as an overarching plot device to give sci-fi meaning to a female empowerment drama. The film presents time as a loop - Kyle Reese is John Connor€™s father, but only because he was sent back in time to stop a robot stopping his creation. It€™s a paradox, yet within the film€™s narrative makes perfect sense. To see it done woefully wrong, look no further than Terminator Genisys. Now, instead of just framing the narrative, time travel is the story. The film is ostensibly trying to restart the whole timeline a la Star Trek and X-Men: Days Of Future Past, opening the door for more sequels (please God no), but has such a poor grasp on its own logic that five minutes in it has already fallen apart.
Like the first movie, Jai Courney (he's technically playing Kyle Reese, but having the acting range of a wooden spoon with muscles means he never stops being Jai Courtney) travels back in time to save Sarah Connor (the now nudity-shy one off Game Of Thrones). He€™s sent by John Connor (the guy from something, maybe) - Sarah€™s and (in what the film thinks is a big spoiler) his son - who is attacked by a soldier (the guy who was Doctor Who a few years back), sending the timeline into vague flux. Jai eventually makes his way into a poor replica of the original movie, only to find things are different a bit because the machines in the future have sent back other robots to kill them and things and stuff... And, you know what? I don€™t even care. I can€™t be f**king arsed to explain any more of this movie€™s plot, because to do so is to give more thought to it than the filmmakers did. The story is (and I don€™t use this term lightly) a clusterf*ck. Oh, it comes across basic enough so your average cinemagoer can follow what's going on, but if you sit down and ask any questions about it (even ignoring a massive narrative point that is obnoxiously left unexplained, none of the motivations of any of the robot characters are made clear) then it crumbles into as many pieces as a T-1000 after a dousing in liquid nitrogen. There is an obscene amount of mainstream-baiting here. Even though the film is built on twisting the events of a cult hit from 1984, and thus should assume some sense of intelligence, cinematic or otherwise, it feels the need to over-explain every minor beat that even flirts with anything temporal. Exposition is repeated over and over until even the most basic plot point feels like it's convoluted by sheer force. It even goes as far as to attempt Looper's sense of self-awareness (don't over-think it), which falls flat thanks to the misguided sense of brilliance. Arnie (who is actually rather convincing as an aged Terminator, irritatingly called Pops) repeatedly tries to explain the rather simple mechanic at work here, but Mr. Courtney keeps butting in saying it's all €œtoo complicated€. It really isn't - the writers simply haven't fleshed out the logic of the story they're trying to tell. For the rest of the review, click next.
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Film Editor (2014-2016). Loves The Usual Suspects. Hates Transformers 2. Everything else lies somewhere in the middle. Once met the Chuckle Brothers.