23. Giacinta “Jinx” Johnson (Die Another Day, 2002)
Halle Berry’s NSA agent Jinx was immediately infamous in the franchise for her overwhelming lack of sophistication when compared to many of 007’s leading ladies. Yet another modern attempt to portray a woman as Bond’s equal woefully misfires, giving us a character who openly brags about her sexual trysts with Bond and constantly spouts absolutely heinous “witticisms” such as “yo mama!”
Her introduction is quite possibly the single worst scene in Bond history, with the mangled dialogue between her and 007 referencing “predators” and “feasting” as thinly-veiled allusions to the humping soon to follow. That this meeting is preceded by an homage of sorts to Dr No’s iconic Honey Ryder with a bikini-clad Jinx slowly emerging from the ocean only serves to demonstrate the tremendous gap in class and quality between the characters, and indeed the films in general.
She survives placement as the absolute nadir of Bond girls only due to the fact that she does something - Jinx is somewhat proactive and can hold her own in combat. Just do your best to ignore everything that comes out of her mouth.
Best moment: Besting the icy femme fatale Miranda Frost in a knife fight at least shows her making a decent contribution to the mission - shame she had to immediately spoil it with “read this, bitch!”
Worst moment: We’re almost spoiled for choice for mortifying Jinx moments. How about her role in another “homage” to classic 007; contrasting the immortally tense laser scene from Goldfinger with comically hyperactive laser beams shooting around while Jinx makes such cracks about being “half the girl I used to be” that your Dad would consider too lame for the Christmas table. Ian Fleming would be spinning in his grave faster than the lasers.
Chest thumping James Bond fanatic, reader of books of the written variety, and Game of Thrones aficionado living in China. Once had a fever dream about riding a rowboat with Davos Seaworth. Hopelessly dedicated to prestigious TV dramas (and Star Trek), movies, sports, and Haruki Murakami novels, he particularly revels in top 10 lists with titles that end with "...of all time." Currently neglecting his pollution mask in Tianjin.