I loved him as The People's Champion, I loved him as The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment, I loved him as a burgeoning Hollywood novelty, I loved him as a Posi-Vibes Instagram Icon, and I love him now as the biggest single attraction in cinema today. The man has the most absurdly broad shoulders, and today filmmakers queue up to load their movies onto them.
Since his formal debut in the opening montage of The Mummy Returns, Johnson has been on an 18 year march through tinseltown and it has been a long, long, long two decades. He stands now as, arguably, one of the planet's most recognisable faces but it's taken a herculean effort against bad direction, worst writing, and the sort of lazy typecasting any former pro-wrestler is bound to face.
To still be standing today - and with a back catalogue as fun, varied and critically acclaimed as any action star - is arguably his biggest professional achievement. Yes, even bigger than doing a song with Wyclef Jean. Yes, even bigger than beating Jimmy Fallon on the first episode of Lip Sync Battle. Yes, even bigger than winning the WWE's Tell Me You Didn't Just Say That Award for telling Rusev he smelled like "Chewbacca's hairy bean bag". Bigger than all of this.
But how to rank these movies? How to stack them atop one another in a way that makes something that even remotely smells like sense? Well, I can do it, because I love The Rock.