The dust has pretty much settled from the surprise announcement last year of Lucasfilms $4.05 Billion dollar merger with family entertainment giant and cotton candy distributor Disney. The money has been shuffled into a trust fund earmarked for educational philanthropy, and the fanboys have retreated into their mancaves in the basements of their grandmas houses, and are busily writing angry posts about The Justice League. The rest of us normal people are patiently waiting to see what Disney makes of Star Wars, and rocking ourselves to sleep at night saying, it cant be worse than Jar-Jar Binks... Im going to go out on a limb here and say I think that may be true, that nothing could be worse than Jar-Jar Binks. Im going even further out on that limb by examining what for many has been a wildly unpopular theory in the universe of Star Wars Fans. First, lets look at the facts. Disney immediately announced that they plan to make more Star Wars movies; it was also widely reported that the merger included detailed plot treatments for the Sequel Trilogy. Two weeks later a rumour emerged that none other than Darth Vader himself would be making a return in the forthcoming Star Wars Episodes 7-9. Now hold on a second. From Disneys perspective it makes sense, Darth Vader is the merchandising powerhouse that singlehandedly drives the entire Star Wars Franchise. (Sorry, Princess Leias Buns and Luke Skywalkers Speeder!) On the other hand, exactly how in the hell do they plan to accomplish the resurrection of a character whose death and redemption is the pivotal moment in the entire Original Trilogy!? Ill tell you how. For better or worse, theres only one way this works. (drumroll please, garbage can lid shield ready). One possible explanation for Darth Vaders supposed return would be if there is some truth to SuperShadow's Plot Treatments! SuperShadow.com is a poorly designed website that went live in early 2006.?*** It features among other things, an apocryphal history of the Jedi and Sith (and other interesting tidbits with no canonical link to the Star Wars universe), Princess Leia Bikini Pictures, and alleged Plot Treatments for Episodes 7, 8, and 9, not to mention Indiana Jones 5, (please no). SuperShadow claims to be a Lucasfilm insider with close personal ties to George Lucas himself. Disclaimers on the website disavow any official connection to Lucasfilm or George Lucas, and according to one of the sites many critics this disclaimer appeared the day after the site went live. Im not really here to judge this guys character (if it really is just one guy), which seems to be fraught with delusions of grandeur and narcissistic self importance, to say the least. I am here to poke fun at the Sequel Trilogy, and heave a couple of rotten tomatoes in the general direction of Disney Corp, just for kicks. Lets look at some anecdotal evidence. According to SuperShadow, Episode 7 opens with Dark Jedi wearing jet-packs and Vader-esque face masks attacking Bespin Cloud City, which has become a Jedi Training Facility. Sounds like an epic battle scene between thousands of Light and Dark Jedi. The plot of Episode 7 allegedly revolves around a Dark Jedi leader who is in possession of Lukes severed arm, which Darth Vader kindly removed for him in the final moments of The Empire Strikes Back. So check this out: When I was about ten years old I knew this kid whose dad worked for Lucasfilm. In the early 90s he told me that Episode 7 was going to be called The Hand of Darth Vader. Not exactly the same thing, but too close of a coincidence to ignore. (The Glove of Darth Vader was released in 1992 as part of the pseudo-cannonical Jedi Prince series of books.) All the fanboys out there would have to agree that Lukes severed arm from Bespin would have been infinitely easier and more plausible for the Empire to recover than Vaders arm from the Second Death Star, which blew up moments thereafter. Also, do you see what they did there? Opening Episode 7 on Bespin Cloud City and having the plot link back to Lukes arm that was severed in his epic Vader battle on Bespin immediately connects the new movie with Episode 5, both visually and narratively. You know what that is? Thats Good Writing. (who knew?) Allegedly the entire story arc of the Sequel Trilogy centers on a Dark Jedi scheme that involves Evil Clones of Luke and Anakin Skywalker, the latter of whom is said to don the iconic Darth Vader helmet and armor in Episode 9, and for a sparring scene at the end of Episode 8. If this is true, Disney will have simultaneously managed to exploit one of the biggest action figure and Halloween costume cash cows in history, AND keep Hayden Christiansen employed. Bravo!
The dust has pretty much settled from the surprise announcement last year of Lucasfilms $4.05 Billion dollar merger with family entertainment giant and cotton candy distributor Disney. The money has been shuffled into a trust fund earmarked for educational philanthropy, and the fanboys have retreated into their mancaves in the basements of their grandmas houses, and are busily writing angry posts about The Justice League. The rest of us normal people are patiently waiting to see what Disney makes of Star Wars, and rocking ourselves to sleep at night saying, it cant be worse than Jar-Jar Binks... 
Lets look at some anecdotal evidence. According to SuperShadow, Episode 7 opens with Dark Jedi wearing jet-packs and Vader-esque face masks attacking Bespin Cloud City, which has become a Jedi Training Facility. Sounds like an epic battle scene between thousands of Light and Dark Jedi. The plot of Episode 7 allegedly revolves around a Dark Jedi leader who is in possession of Lukes severed arm, which Darth Vader kindly removed for him in the final moments of The Empire Strikes Back. So check this out: When I was about ten years old I knew this kid whose dad worked for Lucasfilm. In the early 90s he told me that Episode 7 was going to be called The Hand of Darth Vader. Not exactly the same thing, but too close of a coincidence to ignore. (The Glove of Darth Vader was released in 1992 as part of the pseudo-cannonical Jedi Prince series of books.) All the fanboys out there would have to agree that Lukes severed arm from Bespin would have been infinitely easier and more plausible for the Empire to recover than Vaders arm from the Second Death Star, which blew up moments thereafter. Also, do you see what they did there? Opening Episode 7 on Bespin Cloud City and having the plot link back to Lukes arm that was severed in his epic Vader battle on Bespin immediately connects the new movie with Episode 5, both visually and narratively. You know what that is? Thats Good Writing. (who knew?) 