Boy, the hits just keep on coming for the upcoming reboot of the classic comic book series Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, with the announcement this morning that Megan Fox has been cast in the film, presumably burying the hatchet between herself and producer Michael Bay (who she referred to in interviews as being a “Nazi” on the set of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen).
Ever since the project has been announced, it’s been plagued by bad news followed by bad news, with various production issues and negative fan reactions making it clear that, with all probability, Ninja Turtles is going to suck.
Sure, with Bay at the sidelines it will probably make a truckload of cash, but any fan expecting to be entertained by a TMNT movie with his involvement is just setting themselves up for a colossal disappointment.
Here are 10 reasons why Ninja Turtles is going to suck…
10. Michael Bay Producing
Paramount announced in mid-2011 that they were bringing aboard Michael Bay and his Platinum Dunes production company to produce Ninja Turtles, as bad a sign as any that the film is going to be absolute garbage.
Just look at Bay’s filmography for one; though he has turned out a few enjoyable three-star action films (Bad Boys 1 & 2, The Rock, The Island, Transformers), he’s primarily known for directing braindead actioners with a childish sense of humour, and so we can certainly expect that mentality to transpire into the Ninja Turtles film.
His producing credits under the Platinum Dunes banner largely includes needless remake of classic horror films (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street), which mostly turned a nice profit at the box office, but were rightly reviled by critics at large. Michael Bay. Platinum Dunes. These are four words you don’t want anywhere near a TMNT film, nor near any film at all really.
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18 Comments
Done in one – Michael Bay is attached.
Exactly. It could be a three letter article, just BAY in all caps.
I have to disagree on the Megan Fox stuff. I think she’ll be a great April O’Neil given the right material. It all depends on the mood of the film really I think. Hopefully it will play quite fun, rather than broody, in which case she should shine as April.
I completely agree that Megan Fox would be a great April O’Neil If this was a porn film the bitch can’t act.
Why call her a bitch?,she is a very happily married young women who has a very young son,also its about time these stupid stories about her not being able to act STOP,she has gotten pretty good reviews for her last film This is 40,all the Haters sound like broken records say the same boring stupid thing over and over again.
I’m going to do something that has never been done before and defend Michael Bay. For one, the guy makes action scenes like it’s nothing. It’s literally like explosion porn. Besides The Rock and Bad Boys, did you really expect to see a thought-provoking film when you went to go see the Transformers, a franchise that came from action figures that could transform. It wasn’t going to be Shakespeare in space. As for Ninja Turtles, (hahahaha come on just look at the name) you’d have to be an idiot to expect a very compelling story. These are popcorn flicks for the casual movie-goer. It sells tickets because people know what they’re going to see, a whole lot of action. Don’t be such a Debbie-Downer and just roll with it. If you don’t think it’s going to be good don’t watch it, but from some of your last articles it seems you’ve been on a streak of being proven wrong, case in point Revengance and Crysis two games you said would “suck.”
Movies can be popcorn blockbusters and still have substance, otherwise they’re unwatchable dreck. You’d think a franchise with six films of just car chases couldn’t go wrong, but when you’re casting Paul Walker and Vin Diesel, it doesn’t make a good film, whether its in the action genre or not. That’s not film snobbery, it’s just having a modicum of brain function
btw i didn’t read the article. all i saw was “wah, wah, wah, it’s not GTA V”
Done in one – it’s a movie about mutant turtles.
Scratch that – it’s a comic book adaptation.
Alien Turtles is all this article needed to state.
I can’t believe there are multiple people who are adamantly against TMNT who’ve opened this article just to let us know that their childhoods were awful compared to mine.
Great list. Totally agree here. I believe P.Laird even drew some hilarious illustrations of Teenage Alien Turtles and has not been supportive of the project at all. I can’t believe how bad this movie is sounding. To be honest the last CGI movie wasn’t that bad, least the writers took the time to acknowledge the different personalities of the turtles and I enjoyed that they were older and moving on. Also the cartoon on Nick is fantastic! I had my doubts going in because the animation takes a little bit to get used to, but man they really hit the nail on the head. It’s really funny but still has all the action that the old cartoon had.
1st point-Bay
2nd Mutant- not alien
3rd teenage mutant gone
Screw this
I’m pretty sure Michael Bay is going to cast Shia LaBeouf as Casey, Marlon Wayans as Leonardo, Cuba Gooding Jr. as Raphael, DL Hughley as Dontatello, and Chris Tucker as Michaelangelo
Ninja Turtles as aliens. I love it! Total proof Hollywood is completely out of ideas. Anytime they can’t think up an idea of how to make something more “high-concept” they just turn to aliens. Ooooooooooooo. The Sci-Fi genre after being reduced to “high concepty” action flicks is now about to be degraded once again into one big cliche.
“Hey I just bought the rights to that game, Battleship! We’re gonna make a movie!”
“Really, a naval warfare film nowadays? How ya gonna spin that?”
“… We have no idea…. but wait… yes! We. Got. It.”
I’ve been a fan of TMNT since I was a little kid and I’ll agree that most of the stuff on this list is very disheartening, but I’m going to at least wait for a trailer before I give in to my geek rage.
Michael Bay makes a lot of crap. But the island is one of my favorite movies.
Shaun Moron ,This stupid Top Ten is pointless. You’re moaning about a film that hasn’t even started filming yet. The whole Top Ten is based on your own misguided opinion with out zero credibility in any of it.
Why should this film be made for the silly geeks and nerds of the original pretty crap cartoons, these people say that their child hood memories are being ruined, WHAT?, get a life.
As for Megan Fox, good for her,I think she will make a pretty good April,buy the way Hater,Megan got some very good reviews for her part in Friends with Kids and especially This is 40.