Boy, the hits just keep on coming for the upcoming reboot of the classic comic book series Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, with the announcement this morning that Megan Fox has been cast in the film, presumably burying the hatchet between herself and producer Michael Bay (who she referred to in interviews as being a “Nazi” on the set of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen).

Ever since the project has been announced, it’s been plagued by bad news followed by bad news, with various production issues and negative fan reactions making it clear that, with all probability, Ninja Turtles is going to suck.

Sure, with Bay at the sidelines it will probably make a truckload of cash, but any fan expecting to be entertained by a TMNT movie with his involvement is just setting themselves up for a colossal disappointment.

Here are 10 reasons why Ninja Turtles is going to suck…



10. Michael Bay Producing

Paramount announced in mid-2011 that they were bringing aboard Michael Bay and his Platinum Dunes production company to produce Ninja Turtles, as bad a sign as any that the film is going to be absolute garbage.

Just look at Bay’s filmography for one; though he has turned out a few enjoyable three-star action films (Bad Boys 1 & 2, The Rock, The Island, Transformers), he’s primarily known for directing braindead actioners with a childish sense of humour, and so we can certainly expect that mentality to transpire into the Ninja Turtles film.

His producing credits under the Platinum Dunes banner largely includes needless remake of classic horror films (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street), which mostly turned a nice profit at the box office, but were rightly reviled by critics at large. Michael Bay. Platinum Dunes. These are four words you don’t want anywhere near a TMNT film, nor near any film at all really.

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This article was first posted on February 22, 2013