Star Wars: 10 Simple Ways The Empire Could Have Won

The Empire. Queue the sweetest theme song in the galaxy, as millions of Stormtroopers, AT-AT Walkers, TIE Fighters, Star Destroyers,...

Michael Thompson

Contributor

Empire Contre Attaque 80 33 G

The Empire. Queue the sweetest theme song in the galaxy, as millions of Stormtroopers, AT-AT Walkers, TIE Fighters, Star Destroyers, and Sith Lords come marching down from the skies to ruin your planet’s day. Don’t even try fighting back. Resistance is futile.

Unless you happen to have a fighting squad of Force-sensitive teenagers lying around with names that begin with “L,” such as Luke, Leia, and, uh, Lando. In that case, strap in and get ready to fly down those Death Star trenches as you attempt to bring down the single most terrifying fascist regime ever witnessed by fictional history, with little more than luck on your side.

Seriously, how could the Empire lose? As a kid, you watch Star Wars and just accept that Skywalker saves the day. At the end of Return of the Jedi, the second Death Star is blown up, the evil Emperor Palpatine is dead, and a redeemed Lord Vader is down and out. All is right in the galaxy again as the multitudes of still-functioning Star Destroyers facing the tiny Rebel Alliance just… go away? As you grow up, cinematic magic begins to sway for logic and you come to the realise that in reality, the Empire would never have been beaten.

In fact, here are 10 incredibly simple ways they could have conquered the galaxy indefinitely…