Let’s not beat about the bush, Sylvester Stallone has made some bad films. If the majority of his films were a Michael Jackson album, they’d be Bad. If they were the name of a fish backwards, that fish would be a Dab. You get the idea. I’d list them all, but I’m not sure there’s enough space left on the site, maybe even the Internet, to do that.
And yet, in amongst those clunkers there are a few sens-Sly-tional (if that isn’t a word, it is now) pieces of entertainment that I can’t help but love, honour and promise to defend, until violently comic death do us part.
So let’s kick off with the highs, because we’ll need to build up some serious altitude before we tackle the lows…
5 That Were Awesome…
5. Rambo – First Blood (1982)
I saw Rambo: First Blood Part 2, on TV in the early 1990s. It wasn’t great. A superhuman with improbably big muscles carrying weapons that would have strained the front of a Huey, let alone a man’s arms. It was all very 80’s and very average. What makes it particularly disappointing, as I learned a few years later, was that the original, also written by its star, was simply superb.
A brooding and desolate John Rambo is a troubled Vietnam vet (that’s war veteran, not cat doctor) tormented by a local sheriff and his cronies. At first, our hero is a model of restraint, in fact if Stallone played him any more low key, he’d be off the left hand side of a piano, but when the violence explodes into a brutal manhunt, it’s quite astonishing. Personally, I love Rambo disguising himself as half a forest to knife a guy, and his jump off a cliff, no CGI – they just did it - which still looks stunning 30 years on.
Plus, it ends on a hell of a downer, reflecting that there were very few happy endings for those that had come back from that war. Oh, and it features CSI Miami’s Horatio Caine looking like a small boy who hasn’t had his dinner in a month.
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8 Comments
Die Hard Sly fan here… And while I agree with most of what you’re saying, I’ve got to call you on Get Carter. It’s not a great movie, by any stretch of the imagination. But Sly’s performance in the rooftop scene with Rachael Leigh Cook is up there with the end of First Blood. ***Spoilers*** He has just discovered his niece was drugged and forced into appearing in online porn. However, as the character is painfully inarticulate, he tries to talk to her about it without addressing it. As she breaks down, the pain you see him go through as he realises he can do nothing to help her, and he is stuck in this conversation whether he likes it or not is easily some of the best acting Sly has ever committed to screen.
Thanks for the defence Darren, nicely put too. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the amount of people who, either on the site or anecdotaly, have professed their love for the ones I don’t like, and hatred for my faves.
I’ll go back to watch that scene in particular to see what you mean.
Whether it’s right or not, I was so effected by the original that I bring a level of expectation to any remake. It’s a bit like hearing a cover version of your favourite song. Yep, it’s the song you love, and the band might do it well, but it’s still an imitation of what has gone before and therefore something doesn’t ring true.
Looking at my list, I think I find Sly at his best when he’s not got any baggage from either an original version or from the source material (e.g. Dredd could be a good throwaway sci-fi actioner, but as a Judge Dredd film it just isn’t good enough).
Anyway, thanks again for putting your point across. I’m waiting for the defence of The Specialist from someone…
Extremely well-put re: weight of expectation on remakes. Get Carter is only bearable to me if you completely blank the fact that it’s a remake (and the shoehorning of Michael Caine’s classic line “You’re a big man, but you’re out of shape – with me it’s a full time job…” worked in the original beautifully, but when Sly says it to an older Caine – who is physically tiny compared to the Stallone – I buried my face in my hands).
And even I couldn’t defend The Specialist… (I can’t even make it to the end credits of that one!) ;)
100% agree
I really liked Get Carter. I don’t get the hate. I dunno… and you called it with First Blood. That movie blew me away when I first saw it. Simple, effective – and I don’t think it’s dated even today. I got five bucks (or pounds if you’re in England) that says they will be remaking that one anytime now.
Spot on about First Blood. I was a teenager when the sequel was all over the place, with news reports about its politics and violence, so I didn’t have any expectations of the prequel.
When I finally watched it late one night at Uni and was gobsmacked at how thoughtful, well put together and tense it was – totally changed my view of Stallone, probably more so than Rocky.
I too have that horrendous feeling that there’s a direct remake waiting out there!
Rocky is a damn near perfectly written film and is finely acted by Sly. At the time critics were comparing him to a young Marlon Brando! It remains his finest performance to date and proof that he can actually act, unlike his 80′s and 90′s action rival The Austrian Oak whose best performance was playing a cold, calculating, murderous time-travelling robot.
“Adrian!” is from Rocky, not Rocky II. In Rocky II he shouts in to the camera, “Yo, Adrian, I did it!”, as Adrian is watching from their home.
There’s no way you can call Rocky a better boxing film than Raging Bull either, as the boxing is absolutely ridiculous. The pounding he takes can’t have been that bad either, because he loses a split decision.
The rest of the film is good, though.