The much-anticipated and much-feared trailer for November's Sonic the Hedgehog movie has landed, and oh boy is it something.
Those pondering the merits of giving SEGA's blue blur the live action treatment have probably made up their minds with this latest teaser. It's arguably not good.
Things begin satisfyingly - and promisingly - as the camera pans down on a verdant road, adorned with a sign reading 'GREEN HILLS', before the Paramount logo pops up encircled by a crown of golden rings. Then, after a quick whizz through the woods, we see Sonic himself, and... er...
He's not ideal.
Limbering up to Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise, we see Sonic in all his lanky, furry-limbed glory. If Detective Pikachu's eponymous electric mouse's fluffy CGI is sort of adorable, the blue hedgehog equivalent is pure creepy.
At least Jim Carrey's Dr. Robotnik, though not corpulent, is charismatic. The brief view of Eggman shows Carrey channelling the elastic energy of his early-'90s performances - plus the suggestion that he may take on a more familiar, ovoid form as the film progresses.
We see Sonic shot with a stun gun, riding in a car with James Marsden, and promising to save the planet from an inevitably evil Robotnik. It's hard to tell whether it's going to be so bad it's good, or simple so bad it's bad.
But what is certain is that we absolutely have to see it.
Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know).
He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.