You’ve been that person walking out of the theater smiling while the rest of the crowd passing by seem to be throwing their tickets away in disgust. You liked the bad movie. You’re not alone. We’ve all been there at some point, and it’s not a bad thing. Everyone deserves to indulge. Even the most hardened of cinephiles have a few skeleton’s in their closet – acclaimed critics included.
Roger Ebert liked The Zookeeper, A.O. Scott found “an amazing kind of emotional integrity and intensity” in the Twilight franchise, and Richard Corliss wasn’t afraid to say he enjoyed Clash of the Titans. Everyone has standalone indulgences like Zookeeper or Titans. There are hundreds of bad movies filled with just enough nostalgia or fun to keep you coming back for more. The choices become less clear when you start looking for the great guilty pleasure franchises though. Making one bad but ultimately enjoyable film isn’t so difficult, but duplicating that same kind of “bad but good” balance over three, four, five, six, or even seven installments is downright remarkable. I seek to honor these decade (or more) long bad habits.
As the gentlemen of the Filmspotting Podcast often remind us; these types of lists need guidelines. Without some parameters to work within, finding a clear set of applicants and criteria to judge them by can be difficult. This list has four rules: no horror movies, there have to be at least three entries, the leads can’t get replaced, and the films have to be major studio productions. These rules are here for a few reasons. I didn’t want a list dominated with one genre (horror) that makes awesomely bad its bread and butter – that is for another list. Two films isn’t enough to be a real franchise.Pure money grab sequels don’t deserve any chance of recognition here, and I didn’t want to open the flood gates for the scores of low budget camp that might qualify. Here is the list.
10. Crank
Okay, so I’m starting off on a bad note – breaking one of my own rules. I’m letting co-directors Neveldine and Taylor sneak their Crank films into this top ten on my sincere hope that Chev Chelios will survive to die(ish) another day. Jason Statham isn’t so confident, but movies like Crank are about defying the odds so I think it’s appropriate to keep the dream alive. If it wasn’t for the question mark over the series’ future Crank would almost certainly be higher.
About the actual films now. Well, film sounds a bit misleading. “Orgy of ass-kicking caught on camera” might be a more apt definition. The things that make the Crank movies so bad – the absence of concepts like plot, acting, and good taste – don’t really enhance the cult status of these movies like others in this top ten manage to do with their shortcomings. At times the dialogue feels like the grating of nails on a chalkboard, and there are moments, like when Statham essentially rapes Amy Smart in the middle of Chinatown, that are deal-breakers for many.
For the rest of the world though Neveldine and Taylor deliver some of the most frenetic and pleasing action available today. They have an inventive visual style (apparently involving filming scenes with camcorders while roller blading) that makes every big fight scene feel like it’s about to jump off the screen. It’s not the kind of powerful stuff you bring up while sipping pinot noir at your friends dinner party, but when you need to check your brain at the door after a brutal exam or a hard day of work Crank is there for your mind numbing pleasure.
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13 Comments
Naked Gun trilogy is genuinely great and up there with the funniest movies made. In no way should anybody need to feel guilty about enjoying them.
10, 9, 8 & 1 are the only ones I’d consider for something like this. Others I’d expect to see are more like Final Destination, Honey I Shrunk.. , Transformers, Paranormal Activity, American Pie.
You are SO wrong about ‘everyone’ writing off the Star Wars prequels. I loved them, my sons loved them, my Dad loved them and so do MILLIONS of OTHER fans that you don’t seem to know about or care what they think. HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN was the one true JOY in the prequels, his stunt skills and romanticism on screen is stellar. My wife and daughter would certainly disagree with you about Hayden! Just because you decided that ‘everyone’ must have written these films off does NOT make it so my friend!
How WRONG you are about ‘everyone’ writing off the Star Wars prequels. I loved them, my sons loved them, my Dad loved them and so do MILLIONS of OTHER fans that you don’t seem to know about or care what they think. HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN was the one true JOY in the prequels, his stunt skills and romanticism on screen is stellar. My wife and daughter would certainly disagree with you about Hayden! Just because you decided that ‘everyone’ must have written these films off does NOT make it so my friend!
Harold and Kumar do Crank……now that’s a 100 million dollar movie :p
F**k you, just f**k all of you who make fun of the prequels. Are you souless. I personally hate everyone of you to the depths of my being. Just wait, one of these days you’ll be screwed for saying al of that. I don’t like using language, but what the hell. You guys suck.
Are you normally nuts or just batty?
Oh, and Hayden Christensen is a better actor and higher that any of you insolent, idiodic people.
Yeah he did seem like he was high in the movies. Maybe that explains his horrid performance.
^ Was that necessary Lina? I think Hayden was also the joy in the prequels, I’m glad someone out there sees this. I adored him and those are my absolute FAVORITE MOVIES EVER!!
Lina, I quite fancy Hayden myself, but the whole Star Wars series was corny. I particularly liked Hayden in one of his earlier flicks (not the suicide one), but his acting was not the greatest in the Star Wars prequels nor in that ‘Jumper’ one. Just because I like the look of an actor does not mean they are necessarily a good actor. Calm down, Lina, you have shown the ugly and frightening face of so-called fandom, and I am quite sure that Hayden would not appreciate your puerile words in his defence! Get over it.
Ah leave her alone Helen, she’ll learn to ‘tone it down’. Sometimes people find it hard to express themselves correctly when they feel strongly on an issue. I think Hayden was fantastic in Star Wars AND Jumper. What you have to realize is there is a director in there telling you how THEY want it acted…unfortunately. I REALLY liked Hayden in Virgin Territory (even though the movie itself was rather raunchy) HIS performance was wonderful! The part where he’s ‘discovered’ to talk instead of being deaf and mute at the convent is hilarious! Hayden was also totally amazing in Life As A House…AND he had to loose 25 pounds to do it!
There is nothing wrong with Roger Moore as Bond. In fact he was the best James Bond!!
I was sure Russ Meyer films would have made the list but as usual this was bit of a disappointment :(