Transcendence Review: 10 Reasons It Sucks

Or, why Johnny Depp becoming an iPad isn't as much fun as it sounds.

Transcendence seems to have a lot going for it on paper €“ directed by a Christopher Nolan-backed Wally Pfister, it wrestles with philosophical quandaries like human nature, self-aware AI, the relentless march of technology and the philosophy of the mind. It's acted out by an all-star cast featuring Johnny Depp, the perennially underrated Rebecca Hall, Cillian Murphy, Paul Bettany, Kate Mara and Morgan goddamn Freeman. The Jack Paglen-written script had featured on the Hollywood Black List, cementing its place as one of the hottest un-produced properties in Tinseltown, then Warner Bros. swooped in and threw $100 million at it. It's as close to a sure thing as any film's going to get, right? Sadly, no. So what went wrong? Well, Transcendence isn't the film you want it to be. In fact, it's nowhere close €“ what we wanted was a cerebral epic, and what we've been left with is a hodgepodge of barely-fleshed philosophical ideas being badly debated by characters you don't really care about, all presided over by a lacklustre Johnny Depp and a director with an eye for visual flair, but unable to translate the human drama and philosophical head-scratching on-screen. Believe us €“ we didn't want this. Nobody did. But sadly, Transcendence has to stack up as one of 2014's biggest disappointments €“ it simply fumbles more balls than a blind Octopus, wastes everything it had going for it and plunges deep into mediocrity. Read on to find out how, but clearly, after this point, SPOILERS apply.
Contributor
Contributor

Durham University graduate and qualified sports journalist. Very good at sitting down and watching things. Can multi-task this with playing computer games. Football Manager addict who has taken Shrewsbury Town to the summit of the Premier League. You can follow me at @Ed_OwenUK, if you like ramblings about Newcastle United and A Place in the Sun. If you don't, I don't know what I can do for you.