10 Useless Video Game Sidekicks Who Never Had Your Back

Sometimes you're better off facing those hellish nightmares alone.

Natalya goldeneye
Eon Productions

As you enter the battlefield, you might have breathed a sigh of relief to know you have a companion alongside. Someone to give you hope when all else seems lost, someone to guide you when all seems dark, someone to shoot whatever's sneaking up behind you while you're busy pummelling a wave of demons.

Then, after a particularly nasty dual, you open your inventory to heal yourself... and discover your ally has already used all of your damn medikits.

You realise that it wasn't the duel that injured you in the first place, but your partner indiscriminately firing off all their ammo at anything that twitches – including you.

Finally, defeated and desperate, you decide to make a run for it – but your partner slowly meanders in front of the only exiting doorway first – and doesn't budge, watching dead-eyed while you get eaten alive.

To quote Jean-Paul Sartre, “Hell is other people”. Here are 10 sidekicks that prove just how true that can be.

10. Slippy Toad - Star Fox 64

Natalya goldeneye
Nintendo

As annoying as most of the talkative sidekicks are in Star Fox 64, Slippy Toad is unanimously the worst – and probably one of the worst of all time in video games.

His tendency to get himself into trouble is made apparent at the start of the game – a feat he repeats time and again throughout the missions that follow – and is made all the worse by constantly screaming for you to come and save him.

Almost entirely unable to defend himself, he whines and whines with what is probably one of the most excruciating in-game voices to date.

His one redeeming feature is his engineering abilities and the vehicles he builds to help you navigate, but with that being the case, let's lock him up inside his workshop and never let him near a battle ever again.

As GameDaily once said, “Until Star Fox 64 arrived, we liked amphibians.”

Contributor

Writer, aspiring author, and I won't stop travelling until I've seen it all. Whilst I might take a break now and then to rant about politics or muse over philosophy, I'm not afraid to roll up my sleeves, buckle down, and spend some solid hours gaming!