We're only two games into the new season, but already 2018-19 is shaping up to be one to forget for Manchester United fans. Manager Jose Mourinho wallowed in 500 Days of Glummer, beset by a disastrous pre-season with few new signings to get excited about. A sneaky opening day victory over Leicester suggested the doom-mongerers were premature, but then the wheels didn't just fall off so much as dramatically explode in a pitiful defeat at Brighton.
The Red Devils finished a lofty second last term, and after just 180 minutes of football, it seems that's as much as they can hope for again - presuming Man City win literally every game. Which they will.
To make matters worse, the Old Trafford club seem to be going backwards on the virtual pitch too. The first batch of player ratings for EA's FIFA 19 leaked this weekend, and it makes distressing reading for several of United's top stars.
Whilst some are bullet proof - in the case of the impassable David de Gea, seemingly literally so - others have seen their stock dramatically eclipsed by their counterparts across town. And winning the World Cup? It really doesn't mean as much as you'd think...
Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know).
He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.