Okay, okay, so it’s nearly here. Ever since the first trailer emerged way back in November 2011 – and that’s not a typo – we geeks and lovers of all things GTA have been hanging onto every nuance of information that seeps from the tightest production house in the word of gaming.

Since the second trailer emerged in December 2012, I have typed “GTA V” into my Google bar everyday, searched the hash-tag for any new information hourly and generally been disappointing by the lack of new information. “Good things come to those who wait,” they say, – well that’s not true when the waiting is so bad you want to freeze yourself in time to get there.

Join me as I add to the thousands of pointless articles that clog up Google News and Twitter feeds by merely speculating about the things you won’t see in the best game ever made (probably)…


10. Real Estate


One thing most people gripe about in GTA IV is the lack of things to spend your money on. There are only so many burgers at $1, body armor at $200, paint and spray jobs at $100 you can buy with the HUGE amounts of cash you end up getting pretty much halfway through the main storyline of Niko’s adventures in Liberty City.

Why not bring back the San Andreas/Vice City method of buying real estate and gaining more money off that? No, no say Rockstar, that’s so 2005 and doesn’t mirror the economic realism of today. But fear not, Rockstar assure us that although you wont be able to buy property in V, there are much more interesting ways of spending your hard earned/stolen dough. Scuba Diving anyone?

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This article was first posted on January 26, 2013