Despite the best efforts of friends and loved ones, I'm going to attempt - nay, succeed - in ranking all 151 of the original Pokémon in something resembling an order. This is my magnum opus, my everest, my Geri releasing Mi Chico Latino and proving she was the most three dimensional of the Spice Girls.
Down to business then and, no matter how much we'd like to think otherwise, not all Pokémon were created equal.
Yes, we all cherish the original 151 and, yes, a lot of us will have spent the vast majority of the summer running around cities and parks trying to catch them on our phones, but the fact remains that not all of them are as great as we'd like to remember. Some changed the face of the very entertainment landscape, while others were incredibly entertaining anime characters or solid components of beloved video games. Some were funny, some were weird, and some were... well... problematic, in hindsight.
However through a careful consideration of a) their standing in Pokémon lore, b) their practical uses in the video games and c) that unquantifiable mystique of coolness, it is possible to sort them into a one-time, straight-up, all-time indisputable ranking.
You will of course dispute it though, because you believe that you understand Pokémon better than I do. But you don't, and here are 151 reasons why...