INGLORIOUS BASTARDS

Movie fans have been hearing Quentin Tarantino babble about Inglorious Bastards seemingly since the first day we first laid eyes on his Punch-and-Judy face. At the time, he was an up-and-coming star director with a unique vision, so the idea sounded radical. Since then, he has crawled into his own ass faster then M. Night Shyamalan, which fosters doubt about its merits. So what on earth do we have here? For this review of the new Inglorious Bastards DVD set, I will also review Tarantino's script for his loose adaptation. TWO REVIEWS IN ONE!! You are a very lucky reader, indeed.

THE MOVIEInglorious Bastards, originally released in 1977, was an Italian/American production intended to capitalize on the success of The Dirty Dozen. Bo Svenson and Fred Williamson star with several others as World War II prisoners who, while being shipped to military prison for various crimes, are ambushed by Germans. Trying to escape to freedom, the group is hired by the French to steal a secret Nazi weapon. Many, many slow motion explosions ensue. The script, credited to Sandro Continenza, Sergio Grieco, Franco Marotta, Romano Migliorini, & Laura Toscano, is a disaster. Not only is it choppy and cliched, but it also contains some of the dumbest hard-boiled dialogue ever written for a war movie. These huge problems are worsened by terrible editing and horrific ADR, which makes the film look like a wartime Godzilla movie. Since the cast includes several naturally-charismatic and enjoyble actors, the performances are only half-bad. Svenson smiles cockily throughout, as if he were auditioning for a Playgirl centerfold spread. Williamson fairs much better with his grizzled, no-nonsense, and very dangerous private. The rest of the cast gamely tries to pull off some of the cornier comedic routines sprinkled in between the explosions, but they only partially succeed. The film looks awful today, and has not aged well at all. It is, however, a relic of its time.

EXTRASA Conversation With Quentin Tarantino and Enzo Castellari - This is a disastrous puff piece featuring the two directors. Castellari looks on dumbfounded as Tarantino literally spits and sputters for twenty minutes, breathlessly talking about himself. It's a hilarious monument to Tarantino's own ego, which by now has it's own solar system. Other than that, all you learn about from this enormous waste of time is how much the two directors love each other. NOTE TO TARANTINO: Film that next time; it would be immensely more interesting. Train Kept-A-Rollin - This is an extensive, comprehensive look at the making of the film. I learned quite a bit about the time of production, and the ego clashes that marked this testesterone-soaked camp classic. Back to the War Zone - Castellari roams around in many of the locations for the film, some of which are still standing and vacant after all of these years. OVERALL The film sucks, but it is also a rather famous dud. If you can stomach war movies like The Dirty Dozen, then you can probably do worse than this ... but not by much. The package is fairly extensive, although that conversation with Tarantino will make your head spin.

rating: 2.5

TARANTINO'S INGLORIOUS BASTARDS

Much has been made of Tarantino's reimagining of this film, which is not a straight remake. The script I read bears little resemblance to the 1977 film, except that it weaves their brutal trek through enemy territory within a tender and infinitely superior overarching story about a young Jewish girl and her determination to survive the Nazi assault despite the loss of her family. I approached this script with a bit of trepidation, but Tarantino won me over quickly with a sharply-written scene involving the death of the young girl's family at the hands of a brutal Nazi exterminator. The scene, on paper, bristles with tension and shifts uneasily on Tarantino's trademark gift of dialogue. There are nods to various films throughout, and is infused with intricate details that I found fascinating. Tarantino has clearly been stirring this in his mind for a long time, and the initial aroma is stunning. The middle scenes, involving the young girls escape and employment in a movie theater, are loving tributes to a bygone era and filled generously with a palapable sense of time and place. The actors he finally shooses for this film will have a field day. I was so relieved to see that Tarantino jettisoned much of the original in his reimagining. He wisely shifts focus, making these inglorious bastards the ruthless and almost faceless gang that they needed to be in the first place. These guys are not comical for the sake of comedy; instead, they have a wit sharpened by hatred and brutality. They are guys you would definitely want to have firmly on your side. This is the first Tarantino film I cannot wait to see on the big screen since Pulp Fiction. It cries out for a mammoth canvas and skilled craftsmen. If this film plays like it reads, then this will be a blistering, tense, and exciting event. If I were rating the script, I would give it 4 and a half stars!