12 Astonishing Time Facts To Mess With Your Head

Things you didn’t know: Shakespeare invented ‘yo momma’ jokes and Roman gladiators had their own PR departments.

Stephen Kennedy

Contributor

Columbia Pictures

Columbia Pictures

Time was more or less invented to mess with the way you think about things, but not in the way you’d expect it to. From the moment we can form any semblance of memory and cohesive thought, we think we have a grasp on the whole concept of time, but in truth, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

For example, should you ask any of my fellow twenty-somethings what it was like to be alive ten years ago, chances are that you’d end up lead on a nostalgic meander about how amazing the nineties were, with all of the great cartoons, toys and video games mentioned, and every possible reason why it was a million times better to be young back then. You can then watch with great pleasure as you break it to them that all of those things happened closer to twenty years ago, it’ll cause the person in question to seek out a corner in which to rock back and forth gently.

So to continue in that vein, let’s take a look at some of the most mind-bending facts about time, and how it messes with your head. And fair warning in advance: some of the content will well make you feel ancient, decrepit and obsolete.

 

12. Shakespeare Invented The ‘Yo Momma’

quickmeme.com

quickmeme.com

William Shakespeare, inventor of countless additions to the English language and creator of some of the most celebrated plays the world has ever seen also holds the distinction of being the first recognised publisher of a ‘Yo Momma’ joke. We first saw it in the first scene of Timon Of Athens, wherein Apemantus’ stellar response to being called a dog is to say “Thy mother’s of my generation. What’s she, if I be a dog?” Burn indeed.

Not content with leaving it there, however, he gives it another go in Titus Andronicus, which features the following exchange:

Demetrius: Villain, what hast thou done?

Aaron: That which thou canst not undo.

Chiron: Thou hast undone our mother.

Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother.

The Bard himself, in the 16th century, ladies and gents.