Ray Doesn't Catch THE CRAZIES!

Since the invention of the modern zombie movie in the late sixties, there have been a wide variety of zombie variants that have attempted to scare up lots of dough. Many resemble traditional zombie narratives, while others try to superimpose a more realistic spin on the same events. Films like 28 Days Later and REC are examples of the latter. The reason why these films scare audiences is simple: it's scary to imagine everyday people turning on us and trying to kill us. It's certainly more believable than Godzilla, anyway. The latest film in this growing genre is The Crazies, a remake of a 1973 horror film by Night of the Living Dead creator George A. Romero. As in the original, the population of a small town is slowly succumbing to a mysterious man-made virus that causes them to attack and kill everyone around them. The new film stars Timothy Olyphant as David, a sheriff who quickly discovers that something is terribly wrong with everyone when an armed man casually walks onto a little league field during a game with a shotgun and attacks him. Soon David, his wife (Radha Mitchell), and his deputy (Joe Anderson) are trying to get out of town as quickly as possible. Like many horror films these days, the filmmakers assume that the audience already knows something about the premise and therefore feels no obligation to explain anything. The film wastes little time in introducing the entire town before the first "crazy" shows up on that baseball field. In this, the film feels like the original Night of the Living Dead, creating a sense of shocking horror out of the mundane. Unlike that zombie classic, however, the "crazies" here never really feel threatening or unstoppable; they stare, they stalk, they wander around, but they never feel substantially evil or terrifying. The subplot of the film involves a massive government conspiracy involving this man-made virus, which leads to a very annoying story device in which a satellite can see anyone anywhere. There are various shots from the point-of-view of the satellite that completely distract from the believability of the film. I hated this aspect of the film. Olyphant is fine in this role, and he certainly exudes enough charisma to carry a film of this sort. The rest of the cast screams and runs well, which is all their roles require of them. In a film like this, nobody is looking for a Streep-like performance, however. The direction of Breck Eisner is uselessly cliched. There are approximately 3.1 million jump scares in this film, each one accompanied by orchestra hits. A mother turns a corner while looking for her boy -- Hand on shoulder!! Orchestra hit!! Mother screams!! --- and it's revealed to be her boy. Moments like this litter the film, diluting the truly unnerving scenes. This is ashame, because Eisner and cinematographer Maxime Alexandre have crafted some nice shots that might have worked better in a less-manipulative film. Ultimately, The Crazies suffers from too much gloss, too many phony jump scares, and an uninspired screenplay. Rather than being derived from a master of horror, the film feels like any run-of-the-mill horror film released in the last twenty years. And that isn't something to get too crazy about.