NHL: A Comprehensive Introduction For Non-Hockey Fans

Bonus Material

Important franchises to know about when discussing hockey: Toronto Maple Leafs - you either hate them or live in Toronto, in which case you hate them more. A safe conversation starter when you run into a Maple Leaf fan is to ask them what they can do to make their team better. Way to Make Friends; talk of how Wendel Clark and/or Doug Gilmour were the best leafs ever. Way to Make Enemies; talk of how Wendel Clark and/or Doug Gilmour were overrated. Vancouver Canucks - Toronto Maple Leaf light. You love them if you are from Vancouver; hate them if you are from anywhere else. They have the distinction of having some of the worst uniforms in sports history. You blame every loss on your goaltending. Way to Make Friends; discuss how great Trevor Linden was and how Mark Messier destroyed the team forever. Way to Make Enemies; say that Marcus Naslund and Todd Bertuzzi respectively got what they deserved. Montreal Canadians - the Canadian franchise actually in French-speaking Quebec. Everybody loves them no matter where you are from. They once won a record 5 Stanley Cups in a row and love to riot after any playoff series victory. Way to Make Friends; talk of their record 24 Stanley Cups and how Patrick Roy was the greatest goalie ever. Way to Make Enemies; remind people that they haven't won anything since 1993. Boston Bruins - The Big, Bad Bruins once had the greatest player in the game, Bobby Orr and Don Cherry won't shut up about it. Their Cup-winning goalie, Tim Thomas refused to meet President Obama because he didn't vote for him. So, there you go. Way to Make Friends; talk of how they did everyone a favour by beating the Canucks for the Stanley Cup in 2011. Way to Make Enemies; Point out that Zdeno Chara, their 6'9 Captain is a freak of nature and should climb back up his beanstalk for the benefit of all the normal-sized hockey players. Detroit Red Wings - long considered the classiest team in the league, they are consistently among the top teams in the league for nearly 2 decades, having been bolstered by an all-star predominantly European handful of elite players that nobody had ever heard of before the NHL. Way to Make Friends; Just make a toast to 'Bob Probert, the greatest enforcer in the game', while wiping a single tear from your eye. Way to Make Enemies; State that their team is nowhere as good as it used to be without long-time captain Nicholas Lidstrom. Philadelphia Flyers - once considered the toughest team in the league and often referred to as the Broad Street Bullies, they have consistently made surprise Stanley Cup appearances only to always lose to some other team that everybody forgets about immediately after. Way to Make Friends; talk about how crazy Flyer fans are. Way to Make Enemies; talk about how crazy Flyer fans are.