Now that we’ve seen the first teaser image (above) from the much-anticipated Red Dwarf X, here’s the five things we most want to see from the show’s return…

5. The Boys Need To Be Back On Red Dwarf

Skip the cobbles, we don’t want no earth adventuring, let’s go back to the roots . The premise that created red dwarf in the first place, one guy 3million years in the future trying to get back to earth. Back to the bunks and dreary grey walls is where we want them to be, wandering the corridors of the mining ship. The Dwarfers have probably explored more of the Galaxy itself than they have of the ship. Who’s to say there’s not an army of Simulants on deck 63? Or a small Cat Civilization hidden amongst one of the cargo bays?

Get the boys wandering through the big red can, there’s much to explore and many floors to be seen. Lets just hope Lister hasn’t gone and mis-parked it…again.

 

4. Just The Four Of Them And Holly

No Kachanski, no Katerina, no inmates and no crew, just the boys. Did anyone even like Kochanski? Some, maybe. But again, the original bases of the Red Dwarf plot was that Lister was infatuated and in love with a girl who was in fact dead, 3 million years dead at that. As Holly once said, she would only be of much use to you if it snowed and you need something to grit the path with.  By the looks of Back to Earth though, Krytens biggest rival is indeed dead again which is bad news for Lister, good news for fellow Dwarf fans.

 

3. Live Audience

When the Back to Earth specials were aired last year they were void of the live audience and in respect came off slightly flat. Not only does the live audience laughter create a more humorous and appealing atmosphere, inciting us to snigger at jokes and lines that we may not generally find that funny, it also tells the cast when they’re doing something right… Or wrong.

A joke played out at the desk of the writing team might seem humorous and even laugh out loud, but may not transfer the same way when acted out on screen.  When this joke is then devoid of the necessary audience reaction, then a more on the spot amendment can be made so the viewers at home are not disappointed. So bring back the audience and the laughter so we can again soak up the true Red Dwarf atmosphere and laugh along with our fellow fanatics.

 

2. The Return Of Ace Rimmer

Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast… His dashing good looks, full bodied blonde hair, dress sense that made even the Cat blush whilst not forgetting his smooth talking that can make any girl dream  and every guy weep. Even though he’s only made brief appearences, Ace Rimmer has become one of Red Dwarf’s most loved characters. The way he engages with the crew and appeals to them in such a way, only Rimmer himself could despise such a loveable guy.

Only three words are needed to describe the alternative Arnold and they’re words we’d love to hear uttered again… What A Guy.

 

1. Lister Needs To Be A Slob Again

From series 7 onwards Lister had seemed to have somewhat matured as he got on, having done away with the custard stained t-shirts and his pulling pants with holes in.  He had started to Look after himself and his personal hygiene. Obviously this wasn’t solely down to Lister himself, I can imagine good old Kryten played a valuable part in this, running around after Mr. Lister, picking his socks up after him and scrubbing his long johns.  Not forgetting Miss Christine Kochanski, Listers love interest, if sticking your dirty overalls in the washer was a small chore to get on the young ladies good side I expect Davey boy started making the effort. But alas, let the inner slob return.  Give us back our Dave: ‘Lister of Smeg’ who cared not for milkshake spillages, boxers that couldn’t bend, eating food out of bins and found pleasure in breeding cups of mould.

 

Honourable Mentions:

Space Corps Directives

‘All nations attending the conference are only allocated one car parking space’… They just don’t get old.

Listers Ex-Wife:

Are the renewing of Lister and his Gelf brides vows a bit too far fetched? A drunken fumble sounds more along the lines.

Duane Dibbley

Cats fashionless, nerdy alter-ego. With his massive teeth, rain coat and flask, this character is a nice addition in small doses.

 

Anything to add? What have I missed? Does this make you reminisce of the good old Dwarf, or are you hoping for a more fresh, new coating on the Cult series? Feel free to let us know…

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