The Season Finale of True Blood left me with a very weird taste in my mouth, the taste of confusion with a dash of excitement. The episode was explosive in a way but was also quite painfully slow. It began with Sooki and Alcide, (one was wearing an unforgivable wig I will leave you to guess who) having a moment post Bellefleur funeral and stumbling upon some pretty high vamps frolicking in the sunlight having a very weird version of a Gatsby party. Sooki “I’m a survivor too” decided to enter the lion’s den amidst the 1920′s half naked Charleston madness to check it out and have a very brief catch up with Jason, his new owner and friends, all of whom have been MIA for so long I hardly believed the casual feel of the reunion. Not so casual however was the frenching that Violet gave Sooki, I doubt that is how you greeted your in laws eight hundred years ago Violet, and here we are thinking you’re old fashioned.
Sooki and Warlow, Sooki and Warlow, Sooki and Zzzzzz. My godESS when will this end? Yes ok so Warlow became violent when he realised he wasn’t going to get what he wanted and decided to take some action and turn it up a gear. Sooki hardly sold her idea to him so there is no wonder he was angry… yeah let’s date Warlow what a great idea, you know take me to Merlottes buy me a burger then maybe I’ll take you back to my dead Grandma’s house and show you my knee socks. No surprises that he freaked out, that does not sound appealing to anybody; it doesn’t quite have the same ring as his plan does it.
Meanwhile back at Bill’s house, the vampires are celebrating their newfound freedom with a good clean game of volleyball. Bill is brooding in all black inside the house as he is beginning to realise the consequences of his Billith actions. He is finally persuaded to man up by Jessica and derives a plan of attack, it isn’t a bad plan and the gang all round up and head on over to the cemetery to free Sooki from evil – again Warlow. Each character played their own special part in the break out, even violet who put the fear of god into poor Adelyn so she would show her light and save the day/night. Bill was a little disappointing during the attack, literally diving at Warlows ankles like a Jack Russel, for Warlow to just disappear into the night and laugh in the face of ankle grabbing.
The action moved into Sooki’s house where Sooki hid in the shower (bless) in an awful effort to ditch half faerie half vampire Warlow with the best senses ever. Six characters in total were present in the Warlow take down and who did it take to emerge from a vortex in the middle of the bathroom and finally end him, Lyle?! Of all the bathrooms in all the world you had to go and vortex yourself into mine hey Lyle, really. This was a little disappointing and not well thought through at all, there are a fair few holes and the first and only question I will ask is HOW? How was he finally able to emerge, why now, how? I am guessing there are no feasible answers to this question so it will just have to be accepted. On the brightside the Warlow Narrative is now over so mini bathroom celebration it is. On another note was it just me who felt the Lyle stepping out of the vortex, John Voigt being spat out by an anaconda in the movie Anaconda MIRROR IMAGE.
The faerie blood allowing the vamps to day walk was obviously going to wear off eventually, this fact was unfortunately lost on poor Eric Northman. What an absolutely brilliant visual we were treated to, Eric lying naked reading a book on a deck chair in Sweden, skin as white as the snow and fully exposed to the sun. We are led to believe that Northman has met the sun, that it is the end for our favourite Viking. It is important to note (cling to, whatever) that we did not actually see him burst or crumble or literally actually die. We know Pam is on the hunt for him so my guess is that she will have found him at the very last moment and iced him out, he is in the best place to cool down after all.
Skip to six months later, True Blood took a very bold step with this time lapse. These lapses in a narrative can cause a lot of confusion if not executed properly and can also create some huge plot holes. What information we were given from the time lapse was that Sam Merlotte is now Mayor of Bon Temps, Sooki and Alcide are now a couple, Arlene now owns Merlottes which is now known as “Bellefleurs Bar and Grill” and there is now an apparent vampire zombie apocalypse hitting Bon Temps and other small towns. Due to the time lapse, we were left to work out and fill in the gaps in the narrative ourselves which can be pretty frustrating not being in the loop.
It looks like Sooki is back in her innocent phase, wearing her little floral church hat and keeping very firmly on the light side of things in so many obvious ways, one in particular being her new beau Alcide. Ok, so the writers want us to think she has eliminated all darkness out of her life that she is done with it for good, in with the church attendance donned in her Sunday Best and out with the night dwelling vampire escapades. This new relationship is scraping the barrel a little, there was always chemistry between the two but it just plays back to the idea of Sooki feeling like she needs a man to be happy, she always needs to be comforted by the fact there is someone there to protect her.
Sam Merlotte acting as Mayor of Bon Temps, I don’t even know what to say about this but can feel another HOW?, coming on. Six months is not a great amount of time and it seems time has literally flew by and progress that would take a little longer than six months has practically happened over night. Speaking of which, Bill has apparently written a bestselling book in this small amount of time and is out there in the big wide world talking it up to news anchors. This is where they lost me. After ten long and painful minutes of complete confusion it dawned on me that the ‘leaders’ of this small community (Sam, Bill and Reverend Daniels of all people) had devised a plan to introduce a buddy system to save innocent lives from Hep-V infected vampires, yes there is a threat please keep up. It literally moved that fast, we were told there was a threat from infected vampers who are migrating through towns and killing everyone in their wake.
So buddy up Bon Temps, find a friendly vampire who you don’t mind chowing down into your neck in exchange for your safety, I choose James and will take or leave the singing. This seemed a little upside down, the small town that seemingly have it all together, enjoying a harmless BBQ with friends and foe alike are about to be rocked by a zombie apocalypse, was the channel changed without me noticing? I see the attempt at light and shade here and the fear that such a lovely little small town are about to be invaded but this is Bon Temps, they can handle it people! The episode ended with Sooki once again appearing in the middle of a love triangle and a growing number of angry diseased vampires marching towards the friendly cook out… let’s go Season 7!
Things I hope to see next season,
1. Jason getting some action from Violet as I believe he has now sufficiently ‘wooed’ her.
2. More of Eric Northman, please don’t die Eric.
3. Human and Vampire coming together to kick some Zombie Vampire ass.
This article was first posted on August 20, 2013