10 Best Ever Reasons For Wrestling Storyline Exits
Daddy's COMING home!
In pro wrestling, there's no such thing as an exit.
It is a continuing soap opera without a conclusion, and it at times mirrors the almost endearing, audacious lengths its production analogue goes to bring back a beloved character. In Eastenders, Dirty Den, presumed dead after being both shot and submerged in a canal, simply returned years later. He had ran off to Spain to escape his troubles with the mob.
On the same show, fellow degenerate Nick Cotton died of a drug overdose, only to return. Similarly, Kathy Beale met her maker offscreen in 2006, which is the equivalent of doing a job on a house show. If nobody saw it, it didn't happen, and so Kathy returned years later for one last run. Incidentally, perhaps this sort of petition happens in soap opera message forums, as if Kathy Beale is Kane, or something.
Give her the Vic for a year! She deserves it!
These f*ckers have more lives than Ed Leslie, and regular folk will bash your hobby for its lack of realism. As such, several of these exits weren't exits at all, but temporary goodbyes.
But what a way to go...
10. Mr. McMahon Becomes The Genetic Jackhammer
Not the moving end of a babyface character arc, nor the ultimate comeuppance for the most dastardly of heels, Mr. McMahon left WWE TV for an altogether different reason.
Moved by the apparent love directed towards him by his estranged, long-suffering wife Linda, Vince elected to return to the marital home to reignite old, dormant passions. In his words, on the June 26, 2000 RAW:
"From now on, no matter how much attention you want, you're gonna get it from me. No matter what kind of love: whether or not it's tenderly touching, whether it's rough or ready, it doesn't matter to me, Linda."
"Tenderly touching" doesn't feel accurate, for Mr. McMahon f*cks, and Mr. McMcMahon most assuredly eats ass. He then proclaimed himself the "genetic jackhammer," and that sounds about right. Imagine his technique. Imagine his hammy, relentless, formidable technique, and then bear in mind how little he sleeps. It's no wonder Linda looked catatonic most of the time.
If Vince had sired another child, in 2000, they would be of wrestling age now, which is a prospect even more terrifying than his howling piston thrust.