10 Bloodiest Wrestling Matches Ever Broadcast

"Blood, sweat and respect. The first two you give. The last you earn..."

So here€™s the problem with writing a list-based article based on the bloodiest pro wrestling matches you can find that have been on the telly: there are, at last count, SEVEN AND A HALF BILLION OF THEM. And every one of them is supposedly bloodier than the last. Us pro wrestling fans - the proper, hardcore nerdy types who remember the dates and runtimes of individual matches in Japan seventeen years ago - are incredibly precious about blood. It€™s one of the signifiers that differentiates a casual fan from a real fan, after all: we know that red means green, and what a crimson mask should really look like. We understand the difference between hardway and a blade job (in fact, we call it €˜gigging€™ like we read that they do in the business, just to make sure everyone knows we€™re smart to it). We have our favourite bloody matches, and will vigorously and with great swearing stand by our choices as being far gorier than that match that you like. Most of all, blood doesn€™t bother us in the slightest: it€™s no big deal, stop making such a big deal out of it€ even though we€™ve played that clip over and over again for our friends hoping for that exact reaction, because we cling to the belief that people will stop ribbing us for liking the wrestling if we show them a proper gusher. And because we like squicking people out, of course. We€™re only human. In compiling this article, I ran the countdown past a few friends of mine, who (somewhat predictably) all said unhelpful things like €œWhere€™s Ian Rotten/Dusty Rhodes/Tommy Dreamer€ or €œWhat, no Mass Transit incident€ or €œIt€™s four o€™clock in the morning, get off the phone€. In response, I say: I know they have a rep for it, but I can€™t find a good video of one single match that€™s as bloody as this lot; Mass Transit wasn€™t taped for television; and look, it€™s not like you weren€™t still up, playing Call Of Assassin€™s Halo or whatever. I€™ve also tried to select matches where the blood was important to the story, rather than just being an exclamation mark after some truly heinous prose (see Beulah vs. Alfonso in ECW, CZW€™s garbage matches and far too many TNA matches)€ but by the same token, Hart vs. Austin at Wrestlemania 13 also doesn€™t get a look-in, although it€™s the most dramatic piece of bloody storytelling I know of, because the gore is mostly confined to Austin€™s own face. It€™s a perfectly judged blade job by Hart€ and this article is all about bloodbaths. Similarly, Vince McMahon bled horribly right from the beginning of his Buried Alive match with The Undertaker at Survivor Series 2003 (he blades like he hates himself and wants to die)... but the bout is just an excuse to send the biker version of the Dead Man off and to set up a feud with Kane, and no one€™s ever going to call it a good match. Some of these matches are infamous for gore, others may be a little less well-known. If you€™re of a nervous disposition, then just remember two things: you may not want to click on any video links embedded herein; and no pro wrestlers were harmed in the making of this article. Well€ €˜harmed€™ is relative.

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Contributor

Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.