10 Confusing Wrestling Moments That Nobody Understands
3. The Circles That You Find In The Windmills Of Your Mind
Another Hulk Hogan storyline - this one from the WWF. While WWF Champion in 1989, Hogan appeared in terrible wrestling feature film No Holds Barred, in which he played a wrestler called Rip Thomas, feuding with his monster heel nemesis Zeus (played by actor Tom Tiny Lister).
In order to capitalise on the films release, Lister appeared on WWF programming playing Zeus, complaining that Hogan had received top billing over him. Thats right: Listers wrestling character was his character from the film, while Hogans wrestling character was the actor in the film. Hulk Hogan was being menaced in the ring by a character from a movie.
It could, of course, have been some kind of metatextual thing - a movie come to life, like Woody Allens Purple Rose Of Cairo, or John McTiernans Last Action Hero. There could have been levels of kayfabe on top of kayfabe, Terry Bollea playing Hulk Hogan playing Rip Thomas.
Zeus could have revealed himself to be Tom Lister, who then ripped off a mask to reveal Old Man Withers from the amusement park. They could have kept going, revealing themselves to be someone else masquerading as someone else, over and over until finally someone pulled off their face to reveal a bloody skull, screamed and died.
That would have been brilliant. This was sh*t.
Lister couldnt wrestle. Of course he couldn't, he was an actor not a wrestler. Mind you, he couldnt act either but thats okay, because Hogan couldnt act. He was a wrestler, not an actor. Mind you, he couldnt wrestle either but thats okay, because Lister couldnt wrestle. He was an actor, not a wrestler. Mind you*rips off own face to reveal bloody skull, screams and dies.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. And pro wrestling, which is both a blessing and a curse depending on exactly how bad RAW is this week. I tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless at @desincarne. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.