In the world of professional wrestling, promos are a funny business: and by funny, we mean deadly serious. No joke, promos are vitally important in assisting the audience in maintaining their iron-clad suspension of disbelief in a television programme about giant oily men pretending to fight one another in their underwear. A truly great promo can make the fans believe in anyone and anything: conversely, a truly godawful promo can destroy any credibility that a wrestler might once have had. A monumental worked-shoot promo in June 2011 had the WWE fanbase believing that the notorious jerkass CM Punk was a selfless voice of the voiceless working against the system from within to change the WWE for the benefit of the internet fans, and not in fact the straight-edge reincarnation of Oscar The Grouch at all. Weve all heard great promos, and weve all heard terrible promos (especially if weve ever grimly sat through anything Matt Hardys posted on Youtube in the vain hope that, this time, hell have written it down and memorised it first). What follows are promos cut by people who could talk, and people who couldnt talk: the only common thread here is that no ones sure what on earth they were on about. These are some of the most confusing, WTF promos in all of wrestling.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
