10 Quick WWE Fixes To Save Bray Wyatt
The New Farce of Fear.
In 2017, Bray Wyatt is taken about as seriously in the wrestling ring as Ryback is on his podcast.
This sublime YouTube video distills the problem perfectly. Wyatt doesn't just talk up his ability to defeat his opponents. He promises to destroy their psyche forever, taking everything they hold dear away from them. He promises to harvest their souls. Where he comes from, beasts bow to him. Except John Cena. And Randy Orton. And Roman Reigns. And The Undertaker. And Kane. And The Rock. And Finn Bálor.
Wyatt didn't even appear on this week's RAW. He is stuck in the rinse portion of a deadening rinse and repeat cycle, ready to interrupt a match for no apparent reason in order to initiate a rivalry he'll only get the better of, if the wrestler in question is even lower in the rankings than he is. Increasingly, their numbers are rare. He tells his opponents to "Run!" - but only his fading army of fans have received the message. It's a shame. Wyatt is game, there's no denying that. He is convincing in the least convincing role imaginable.
But he is a total charlatan in dire need of a saviour. Despite his protests, he isn't one himself. The self-professed God requires divine intervention, at this rate...
10. Actually Win Wrestling Matches
Look at that header image. Wyatt looks as shocked as anybody that he managed to at last pin somebody's shoulders to the mat.
It's a world of midcarders in WWE - but if any act suffers most as a result of 50/50 booking, it's Wyatt. Here is a guy who possesses supernatural powers and cannot defeat any major players. It's nonsensical - a full, calculable erosion of his mystique. The Undertaker barely lost in the early 1990s because it would have undermined his character entirely. How could you take an unstoppable force seriously, if he was stopped in every programme of significance?
Wyatt is Exhibit A in the case against Brian 'Road Dogg' James' assertion that wins and losses do not matter. He was stigmatised as a loser over time by virtue of losing major matches. There can't not be a correlation there - and the double negative extends to the widespread perception of, and it can't not be overstated enough, a supernaturally-powered wrestler who cannot use his powers effectively. The line between the Undertaker and Mordecai, fittingly, is black and white.
Either Wyatt wins more often than not, or he becomes a false prophet. There can be no middle ground for a man of such heightened powers.