10 Things I Hate About John Cena

The real problem with WWE's golden boy, and what to do about it.

John Cena has been WWE€™s main event mainstay, the face of the company, for over a decade now. Throughout that time the only thing that€™s really changed about him is his shorts (€˜jorts€™ to cut-off cargo pants - definitely a trade-up). Now, in the old days the people that hated John Cena were the geekiest of the geeky wrestling fans, the ones that used to call themselves the IWC - the Internet Wrestling Community. However, that decade at the top coincided with the transition of online wrestling discussion from message boards and the so-called €˜IWC€™ to a more general, less nerdy dialogue, as the rise of social media, the smartphone and cheaper broadband connections made the internet widely available to all. That means that, in the last ten years or so, everyone€™s had an opinion on WWE€™s most controversial star, not just furious, sweary obsessives with Dorito crumbs in their beards and keyboards stuck on ALL CAPS. He€™s your prototypical, archetypal white meat babyface star: clean of cut, square of jaw, an American patriot who€™s about as unthreatening as the GI Joe action figure he resembles most. And yet still, there are valid reasons to raise an eyebrow at this most wholesome of figures. This article is a look at some of the problematic issues that Cena represents: some tongue-in-cheek, some a little more serious.
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Contributor

Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.