10. Dean Ambrose Has The Offence Of A Little Fluffy Cloud
Seriously, what is it with this man and his moveset? Dean Ambrose is supposed to be violently unhinged, possessed of an unpredictable temperament. So why is it that he looks like a helium balloon delivering any offence in the ring? Using the rebound lariat every match is bad enough, especially when he throws himself back into the ropes, which is just bloody ridiculous. Then there's the weak flailing that accompanies his Thesz Press (apparently it's supposed to be 'a flurry of hardhitting punches'), and the fact that his suicide dive is like a feather falling to earth (a dove's feather, all white and floaty). But worse than anything else is that hop off the turnbuckle: he runs to the corner, hops off the rope and strolls back to hit a move, like a clothesline or whatever. He did it on RAW again on Monday, look. https://youtu.be/6hhImySJolk?t=44s What in seven shades of sparkling sh*te is this? Whatever it is, it looks like sucked up, thrown up crap. That bunnyhop actually derails his momentum, turning a sprint into the corner into a jog back out. I love Dean Ambrose as a performer, but as a wrestler he needs to be a little more snug out there, or he'll float away and be attacked by birds.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
