5 Lurid WWE Hotel Room Angles

Professional wrestlers could very well be the daftest breed of human on this very earth.

Whenever the person with whom they are engaged in a feud appears to distract them on the entrance ramp, a babyface will invariably death-stare at them in the hope that they will go away. It works when their wives do it to them, so why not? Unable to both look in a straight line and remember that they are in the middle of a wrestling match, they succumb to the roll-up pin, every time.

Babyfaces often agree to a test of strength - even though the heel will cut it off, roughly 100% of the time, with a remonstrative kick to the gut. Faces usually have super-heroic hearing ability - that is, until a heel runs interference in the middle of a match. They never find it odd that the decibel level reaches maximum when they're standing still.

Heels aren't exempt. Why, when a babyface could just watch RAW on a monitor to find out precisely how their night is going to end, would a heel even bother turning in the first place? Last night on RAW, valiant babyface Enzo Amore decided to cuckold heel Rusev by engaging in an extra marital affair. That made no sense.

That he foresaw no trouble on the horizon was even dumber. Hotel rooms are the horror movie basements of professional wrestling...

Dean Malenko was one of the finest technical wrestlers of all time; as smooth mechanically as he was learned in the submission realm, his matches were incredibly easy to believe in.

Since all three of those enviable attributes mattered little to the WWF in the year 2000, Malenko was transitioned away from his acclaimed 'Man of 1,000 Holds' persona. He became 'Double Ho Seven' - James Bond, only with a bottle of Rohypnol in his hand rather than a glass of Martini. Malenko was so enamoured with Lita, in particular, that he decided to join her in the shower late in that year. He was met, mercifully, with a Hardy Boyz-sized beatdown.

You might say that this was the WWF at its most socially progressive - early supporters of the consent awareness culture pervasive in 2016. Then again, Jerry Lawler on commentary demanded that the camera remained trained on an obviously-distressed Lita. Also, Heidrenreich practically raped Michael Cole in 2003 in an angle mostly played for laughs. See, it was funny because Michael Cole was much weaker, and clearly wanted no part of it!

Not content with mere voyeurism, Malenko offered Lita a match on the December 4, 2000 RAW. If she lost, she would be forced to go on a date with him. Is there anything more romantic than evident duress?

The date was played for coarse laughs, but Malenko's dead-eyed delivery of lines like "I'm everything in a man you want, so don't even try to hide it any longer" imbued proceedings with a decidedly sinister undertone. Luckily for Lita, and the portion of the fanbase with taste, she resisted Malenko's hotel room advances, and his insistence that she "take care of Mr. Rockefeller", by setting up an ambush from brothers Matt and Jeff.