7 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Sept 15)
Old men yell at clouds, make them their bitch.
Dave Meltzer reported a fabulous story in this week's Wrestling Observer.
78-year-old 'Cowboy' Bill Watts, one of professional wrestling's quintessential un-f*ck-with-ables, is residing in Florida these days, enjoying its tax benefits like many retirees. Unlike those retirees, 'Cowboy' Bill Watts is delightfully insane. As Hurricane Irma raged in the panhandle, Watts, instead of hauling a** out of the region, decided to indulge in a spot of fun. He encouraged ne'er-do-wells onto his property by littering it with his most desirable personal possessions - for the express purpose of luring looters so he could, well. Meltzer wrote that he'd use "his imagination". In mine, Watts planned to blast these cretins with the Oklahoma Stampede smack into a brick wall. Let's just hope Watts wasn't racially profiling these folks. That would take the fun out of things.
Watts beat Vince McMahon to the concept of episodic television in the 1980s. His product, a shared universe show lightyears ahead of its time, was Monday Night RAW's spiritual antecedent.
Watts also beat Vince to the concept of geriatric bad-a**ery this week - but in true McMahon style, he went one better.
7. Bray Wyatt Is Talking Nonsense
This is more of a mundane development than an insane one, given that Bray Wyatt talks nonsense whenever there's a microphone anywhere near his face, man. Ha, ha, ha. But his comments in a recent Miami Herald interview are particularly batsh*t. Bear in mind that, since debuting on the main roster in the summer of 2013, The Man Of 1,000 Losses has:
Only very briefly turned face, a spring '16 development retconned after he suffered a calf injury; Initiated virtually all of his programmes with the exact same MacGuffin method of interrupting a match and taking an incomprehensible dislike to his new rival; Droned on about false prophets longer than Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Combined. And multiplied. By as many times as he's lost matches; In short, undergone no character development whatsoever, unless the transition from ultra-promising act to ultra-counterproductive loser counts.
Wyatt proclaimed the following upon promoting WWE 2K18:
I think the thing about keeping your character fresh is when you change as an individual you have to flow with it.
Wyatt was revealed as a family man-cum-adulterer earlier this year, a change that sadly never translated to the ring. Bray Wyatt, the Eater Of Ring Announcer Chuff, is surely a more entertaining prospect than his horror movie tribute act. The rollers on those dated VHS tapes are spinning in an infinite, depressing loop.