Before you get too far into this story, check your calendars: it's not April 1st.
It seems that this past weekend, quite extraordinarily, none other than CM Punk made a shock return to the squared circle. That's right: retired wrestler who absolutely categorically hates the business forever CM Punk.
Well, kinda. At an MKE Wrestling show in West Allis, WI on Friday, an unnamed masked wrestler emerged during a match to hit a patented GTS on Wisconsin grappler Daryck St. Holmes. He then sneaked out the building, and nothing further was said on the matter.
Until last night, that is. MKE's founder and star of Ring Of Honor Silas Young more or less confirmed that the man under the mask was none other than the Voice of the Voiceless, making his first pro-wrestling appearance in over five years.
Those suddenly salivating at the prospect of Punk's imminent AEW announcement: curb your enthusiasm. Though Punk appeared before a sell-out crowd, just 350 people saw his long-awaited return. The tongue-in-cheek nature of his intrusion and presence of mates Young and Colt Cabana (guess that's back on) suggests it was a one-off as a favour to friends. Punk's disregard for his wrestling legacy is such that he has no interest in taking himself seriously.
Either way, we wouldn't have guessed that this would be the nature of 'CM Punk's Wrestling Return' on the same day AEW unveiled Cody's big opponent for Double or Nothing.
Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know).
He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.