Imagine if there was no WWE. Imagine if business had taken a nosedive after Vince McMahon bought out ECW and WCW and he’d had to sell up. Seems unlikely doesn’t it, but just imagine. No John Cena. No Monday Night RAW. No Wrestlemania. That’s right – with no Wrestlemania to look forward to the biggest event on the wrestling calendar would be presented by TNA Impact Wrestling. The biggest PPV of the year would be Slammiversary. Just imagine.
So with that in mind, let’s take a look at what TNA has to offer for this Sunday’s live event.
Hernandez Vs Kid Kash
I haven’t been watching a lot of TNA’s programming recently so I have to say I’m oblivious to why this match is taking place. I would assume it’s because Kid Kash is a) awesome and b) a ‘veteran’ from TNA’s past. This seems to be classic filler in my opinion and should hopefully be entertaining enough provided Hernandez sticks to wrestling and not to portraying a stereotype.
Prediction: Kid Kash has been out for months. Hernandez has become irrelevant. Kash gets the 3 count.
Devon & Garrett Bischoff Vs Robbie E & Robbie T
A part of me dies whenever Robbie T is on television. This is quite possibly the worst match on the card. TNA has teased turmoil between the two Robbie’s previously but neither would work as a babyface right now. Garrett is mid-push of sorts and so the result of this match seems pretty obvious.
Prediction: Garrett picks up the win. No one anywhere cares.
Gail Kim Vs Brooke Tessmacher – Knockout’s Title Match
Gail Kim is awesome. I cry whenever I see the pictures of her getting married. She should have been mine! Brooke Tessmacher is improving but she’s not up to pulling off a credible match. She’d be better in WWE.
Prediction: Gail Kim picks up a win. Hopefully a returning Knockout shows up and sets up a credible feud.
Austin Aries Vs Samoa Joe – Non Title Match
Is there any need for a non title match on TNA’s biggest PPV of the year? Austin Aries and Samoa Joe will be the one to watch on this card and will hopefully get Joe back on track as a legit singles threat.
Prediction: Samoa Joe cheats to win. Perhaps Magnus will get involved? Let’s hope that TNA then stick with a Joe/Aries feud that lasts for months.
Bully Ray Vs Joseph Park
This whole Joseph Park story line is weird but it’s weird enough to keep people interested in this rehash of the Bully Ray/Abyss matches we’ve seem before. Who knows where TNA will take this match. Who knows if Joseph Park will suffer a case of split personality mid match. Bully Ray has been excellent over the last few PPV’s but the same can’t be said of Park/Abyss. This will likely be a messy match but hopefully the pay off will be worth it.
Prediction: Park somehow gets the win. I can’t help but feel that Abyss will be involved. Maybe TNA are playing us all and he really is a twin? Yeah, right.
Crimson – Open Challenge
The world is expecting Bill Goldberg. This would be amazing but is never going to happen. I expect Crimson to wrestle somebody from TNA’s past. Maybe it’ll be Christian? Maybe it’ll be Rhyno? Maybe it’ll be Curry Man? Unless they’re going to bring back a big name and keep them on the pay roll then Crimson’s streak has to remain intact. Perhaps TNA hopes to bring Goldberg out of retirement if they keep dropping his name on television? I have a sneaky feeling it could be the former Christian Cage but why would they want a WWE guy to end the precious streak?
Christopher Daniels & Kazarian Vs Kurt Angle & AJ Styles – Tag Team Title Match
A nice grudge match with four excellent workers. The story line with Dixie and AJ is secondary to this match but I expect Carter’s husband to get involved regardless.
Prediction: No new champions. The AJ/Carter storyline will be way more important than anything else. Remember folks, wrestling matters. Right?
Jeff Hardy Vs RVD Vs Mr Anderson – Number One Contender Match
Three experienced ex WWE guys should be able to pull off a credible three way match right? You see, this is Slammiversary and what makes you think of TNA more than ex WWE wrestlers in a top spot? Bitterness aside this should be a pretty good match provided RVD and Hardy start to try and outdo one another. These two guys are so hit and miss with their matches that it could go either way. Thrown Ken Anderson into the match and it could be a complete disaster.
Prediction: Hopefully all three men will be on top form and this will be a strong match that helps set up a big finish.
Bobby Roode Vs Sting – World Heavyweight Title Match
There’s part of me that thinks Sting deserves this spot. Another part of me thinks this match should be Roode versus Storm, or Roode versus anyone who isn’t part time and well beyond their prime. Nostalgia is all good and well but when’s the last time WWE booked an ex star in the main event of it’s biggest event. Oh wait …
Prediction: Bobby Roode CANNOT lose this match, but the fans need to be sent home happy. Somehow Roode will walk away as champion (preferably not by getting DQ’d) while Sting still looks strong. Hopefully James Storm will show up (not to cost Roode the match) and set up the continuation of their feud.
TNA Impact Wrestling have got things very wrong recently. To actually consider them the 2nd biggest company in the industry seems ridiculous. The company feels like WCW right before it went out of business. The talent exchange with WWE is likely the biggest news from the PPV and even that is not confirmed. This is the dawn of TNA’s second decade – and what have they learned? If this PPV is anything to go by then not very much. If they ever wish to make it to their 20th anniversary then things need to change real soon, because with the way they look right now they may not even make it to their 11th.