Moustaches are pretty much pro-wrestlers in microcosm. They come in all shapes and sizes, but generally - and for one promoter in particular - the bigger and shinier they are, the better.
The wrestling industry has been covered with mouth-fur since time immemorial, with many of its most popular stars openly defying the term 'babyface'. The business can boast a slew of crinigerous champions, as hirsute heroes from Hulk Hogan and Harley Race to Cody Rhodes and Tyler Bate all hoisted gold above their heads with a lip doily was firmly anchored below.
For others proudly pilose beneath the nose such as Jake Roberts and Magnum T.A., major titles were just a whisker away. But what they lacked in a belt around their waist they made up for with felt across their face.
Which bone-bender boasts the best bristle baton? It's hairy business, sifting through the squared-circle's most spectacular soup-strainers, but we've managed it. Here's how wrestling's premier razor-evaders measure up on the manometer.
(Note: the definition of 'moustache' was applied very strictly here. Beard wearers will have to wait for their moment in the sun.)
Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know).
He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.