It goes without saying that the current WWE period is far from the best; it’s not just nostalgia that makes us long for the days in which Stone Cold Steve Austin stunnered everybody on the roster, The Rock had his hilarious put-downs week in and week out, and The Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness ensured that the product retained its edge.
Indeed, the Attitude Era is regarded by most long-time fans as the Golden Age of the WWE, and every period since has been viewed unfavourably by comparison. As much as the WWE loves to milk our collective nostalgia for it (just look at the most recent WWE game), it’s clear that the vast majority of the current product’s talent wouldn’t survive a minute in the ring with the Attitude Era’s top talent…
10. John Cena
Oh dear me, where do we begin with this tedious, unable to work, talk or dress himself monstrosity?
If the Attitude Era is famous for allowing wrestling fans to be able to talk about their sport without being openly ridiculed, then our John would surely have put a stop to that with just one of those grating salutes or “funny” 4th wall-breaking references he seems to make every week.
Don’t get me wrong on this one, the 2003 angry, bitter and thoroughly offensive John Cena would be a perfect fit in the Attitude Era, though he would never have occupied the top slot he has today as the likes of Austin, Rock and Triple H would have sent him crashing back to mid card obscurity if he even dared try his luck in the penthouse.
It isn’t all his fault obviously, as the guys writing his material clearly gave up long ago on writing anything worthwhile and instead spend their time composing truly awful gags, made all the more terrible by Cena’s over enthusiastic puppy dog delivery that makes you want to slap him in the face until he remembers he is supposed to be the toughest man in the WWE.
Honestly, every time you watch John Cena deliver another soulless promo that fails to elicit even one sympathy laugh, don’t you find yourself thinking, as I do, “Stone Cold wouldn’t have stood for this s**t”?
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This article was first posted on January 30, 2013