Love is a many splendored thing. Love is what makes the world go round. All you need is love. You've heard all those sayings, well, I'm here to say they don't apply in professional wrestling. In the squared circle, love is worse than a low blow from behind. The two just don't mix well. For every magical couple like Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth, there's 10 more that were just uncomfortable to watch. Some people just don't belong together, and yet, WWE would try. Most of the men and women that the company put together in an on-air relationship just didn't have the chemistry or the acting skills necessary to make you believe they were truly in love. Besides the awkwardness of the couples closer resembling a school yard romance than an adult relationship, the writing was as painful as a heart attack. Fans usually rejected these couples, or just largely greeted them with apathy. So this Valentine's Day, whether you're single, married or somewhere in between, be thankful that you're not in a relationship with a WWE Diva or one of the male superstars. It would only lead to trouble. Now, let's take a look back at the worst WWE couples ever.
10. AJ Lee And John Cena
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOz81KKm1us Remember when AJ Lee was of the focal points of Raw, and not just an afterthought? She emerged out of nowhere to become one of the most interesting and funniest parts on WWE TV. Her list of storyline relationships is long, and is often made fun of by the announcers. It all started out when she was cast as the victim of a bad relationship with Daniel Bryan. Then she broke out as a maniacal, manipulative character when she had Kane, CM Punk and Bryan all wrapped around her finger. For awhile, the story was bizarrely entertaining, but then went out with a whimper when she dumped Bryan at their wedding and became the GM of Raw. AJ became less crazy, and kind of boring. This made her less appealing to fans, but made her perfect for John Cena. It was a slow build as the two would innocently flirt on-air, but just couldn't reveal their feelings for the other. Vickie Guerrero suspected something was up, and went on the hunt to prove that the two were an item. Of course, they denied it, but then Cena gave into temptation and planted one on AJ in front of millions of fans. It wasn't good. There was no chemistry between the two, and the fanbases behind the two talents couldn't be more different. Cena appeals to children and women, while AJ seems to have the adult male demographic solidly behind her. Basically, no one wanted to see these two together. Eventually, AJ started going back to her crazy ways and turned on Cena to align herself with Dolph Ziggler. The whole relationship just made Cena look like a bit of a dolt, and it took AJ longer to regain her lost momentum. Now that it's over, we'll thankfully never have to see them lock lips again. When they kissed, it looked like Cena was trying to eat her face like it was big sloppy bowl of Fruity Pebbles.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
