WWE Raw Review 30/1/12 - The Undertaker Returns

The Big News: The Undertaker reappeared after a ten month absence and confronted Triple H just as the COO was about to fire John Laurinaitis as the Raw General Manager. Meanwhile John Cena started to embrace the hate in a rage fuelled beatdown of Kane, Punk and Bryan fought in a tremendous champion vs champion contest and Randy Orton made his return to singles action with a thrilling victory over Dolph Ziggler. In a Nutshell: A show with clear direction and great grappling. John Laurinaitis came out to start the show. He was wearing a glorious false smile and clapped hands with fans, commentators and ring staff in an overly enthusiastic manner. The Executive Vice President of Talent Relations (and Interim General Manager of Raw) then informed the WWE fans that unlike them he was looking forward to his performance review because he was confident that he had done a good job. Had he made mistakes? Sure he said but "name me one great man who hasn't?" He then said that it was okay to make mistakes as long as you didn't make the same one twice. He then pandered to Triple H calling him his friend before again confidently asserting that he was sure that he'd be named the GM on a permenant basis. Laurinaitis then bumbled his way through announcing a series of matches for Raw including Beth Pheonix vs Eve Torres, Kofi Kingston vs Miz, Dolph Ziggler vs Randy Orton and CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan. He then said that at the Elimination Chamber PPV CM Punk would defend his WWE Championship against Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, The Miz, Dolph Ziggler and Chris Jericho. Since when do the Elimination Chamber competitors not have to qualify anymore? Surely they should either base the challengers on the length of time the athletes last in the Rumble or actually make them earn the right to compete in the chamber. Just being given a free chance to win the title at the next PPV and then headline Wrestlemania with the title kind of cheapens the grandeur of the Rumble match. Ziggler, Jericho, Punk and Kofi all together in a Chamber Match though promises to be an outstanding spectacle. After John Laurinatis announced this match, CM Punk came out and sung the goodbye song getting Jerry Lawler and Justin Roberts in on the act in the process. Laurinaitis laughed off the mockery and told Punk that he was owed an apology for not screwing him out of the title at the Royal Rumble. Instead Punk berated Laurinatis with his usual jibes but Laurinatis responded calmly by telling Punk that he wasn't going to take his words personally and offered him a hand to put their differences aside and start over. Punk declined and said that whilst he wasn't too fond of Triple H, he still couldn't wait for the COO to kick Laurinaitis out on his ass. Daniel Bryan interrupted and said that nobody cared about the dispute between Punk and Laurinaitis. He then put over his title defence at the Rumble and said that after defeating the world's largest athlete and the world's strongest man he wasn't sure that CM Punk would be much of a challenge for him. Punk responded by saying that he was the best wrestler in the world but Bryan argued that he was more than just a wrestler, he was a role model. Punk then teased him about his vegan lifestyle and Bryan threatened to shove his pipe bomb where the sun don't shine. Punk then tried to diffuse the situation reminding Bryan that they had been friends for ten years and that Laurinaitis was just trying to cause friction between the pair of them. He then told Bryan that the wwe champion and the world champion should just go out there and give Kansas City a show. Finally the Royal Rumble winner Sheamus interrupted. He put over his win from the previous night and then teased Bryan and Punk about which championship he might challenge for before politely reminding Laurinaitis that after tonight he could be fired. It is disheartening to see five men automatically rewarded with a shot at gold inside the elimination chamber but that aside this was a pretty great segment which promoted the three big winners from the Royal Rumble PPV, set up a couple of mouthwatering matches for the night and effectively painted Laurinaitis as a terrified man pretending to be brave in the face of his performance review. Orton came out to face Ziggler with Barrett watching on from high in the crowd. Barrett was stood next to Josh Matthews and during the bout was asked various questions about Orton in order to build hype for their grudge match on Friday this Smackdown. 1.) Randy Orton defeated Dolph Ziggler via pinfall Lock up followed by a multiple leapfrog spot where Dolph stopped and turned to do his show off strut. Orton took Ziggler down with a side headlock and landed some fists onto his opponent in the corner with Dolph then planting Orton with a dropkick to halt his momentum. Back from the break Dolph had Orton locked in a cravat from behind but Orton knocked him into the corner only to see his charge blocked by Dolph's boots. Dolph then got Orton dazed in the corner but missed a flying charge of his own and fell victim to Orton's clotheslines. He manged to telepgraph a scoop slam attempt however and again broke down Orton's momemtum with another dropkick to earn him a near fall. A number of exciting near falls then developed with Orton executing a superplex and taking Dolph by surprise with a crucifix pin from the corner and Dolph recovering to hit Orton with an out of nowhere fame asser. Dolph then attempted a zig zag but Orton held onto the ropes, threw Dolph over the top rope and into the barricade on the outside, got Dolph back in the ring in positon for the draping DDT and finally managed to take his opponent down with the RKO. **** Impeccably clean and tremendously exciting match which did far more favours for Dolph than the burial he received the night before in his Rumble title match. 2.) Brodus Clay defeated Tyler Reks via pinfall The Funkosaurus quickly took Reks to the ground and then hooked him with some punches, claws and a headbutt. Reks temporarily got himself back in the match following a dropkick and some axe handles but Clay funked up and powered back with a belly to belly and a clothesline before finishing off Reks with the "what the funk?" crossbody. * Clay is great in this role but I think the Funkettes are even better. Their introductory vocals, flashy outfits and extravagant dancing just add tremendous entertainment to the package. Punk and Byran engaged in subtle verbal warfare backstage when Punk challenged Bryan on his claim of being a role model. Bryan put over his vegan principles and brought up Punk's straight edge lifestyle but Punk said that he doesn't pretend to be a role model just because he doesn't drink, smoke or drink, rather he's more concerned with being the wrestler in the world. Bryan then hillariously muttered under his breath "well that's arrogant" before leaving. 3.) Daniel Bryan defeated CM Punk via DQ Well Punk told Bryan that they should put on a show earlier in the night and put on a show they most certainly did. Punk locked in a rough side heaclock to start but Bryan recovered to target the legs as he tried to hoist Punk in the air for a surfboard but instead settled for just stomping on Punk's arm. Punk sold the arm masterfully in a match that featured several eye catching moments. Bryan aggressively flipping Punk over the barricade on the outside was a great heel touch wonderfully sold by an exasperated Punk. Similarly Punk stopping Bryan in his tracks on the top rope, shouting in his face "I'm the best in the world" before taking him back down to the mat with a hurrancana was a euphoric face spot. Great timing was then exercised as Bryan scampered out of the ring following a GTS attempt before blocking Punk's suicide dive with his fist and then going to the top rope himself to plant Punk with a missile dropkick. Both men cotinued to try and outdo the other both technically and athletically as Punk attempted another GTS only to be taken down with a crucifix pin by Bryan who then locked Punk in a labell lock only to be slinghsot into the ropes. Bryan was then getting ready to luanch at Punk from the apron when from out of nowhere Chris Jericho emerged to throw him to the canvas and then ran inside to take Punk out with a codebreaker. Bryan was announced as the winner as Jericho attacked him first. **** A great match which might have been an absolute classic with a more satisfying conclusion. It's good that the seeds are already being planted for Jericho/Punk but I don't know why Jericho couldn't have waited until after the match was over to make his mark. Mike Tyson was announced as an inductee for the 2012 Hall of Fame. Not a fan of the guy but he definitely deserves a spot for helping to further establish Stone Cold Steve Austin as a fearless bad ass during their incredibly executed pull apart stand off. Prior to their match-up, The Miz mocked Kofi's oustanding walking handstand which he used to avoid elimination at the Royal Rumble. Miz said that despite being the number one entrant for the Rumble, he had lasted longer than anybody and that whilst his Road to Wrestlemania had taken a couple of detours he was still going to win at the Elimination Chamber and go on to headline at the grandest stage of them all. 4.) Kofi Kingston defeated The Miz via pinfall R-Truth was on commentary doing stupid "little Jimmy" commentary with Michael Cole. Despite this however Miz and Kingston still engaged in a very fun see-saw match filled with a number of sweetly anticipated counters. Miz outsmarted Kofi to start by knocking Kofi to the mat after his opponent had tried to sneak under his legs. Miz then grounded Kofi in the corner but was taken aback when he went to grab Kofi and instead found himself victim to a roll up pin for a near fall. Miz quickly regained momentum, executing his running corner clothesline, an axe handle from the top rope and a DDT. Kofi got back in the match with a high crossbody for a near fall but Miz kicked out and attempted a backbreaker/neckbreaker combo but Kofi got out of dodge and tried to hit the SOS before Miz sent him into the ropes and applied a full nelson. Kofi then broke out of the hold, threw Miz into the corner and sent his opponent crashing to the mat with the trouble in paradise. ** 1/2 Backstage David Otunga told a panicked Laurinatis that he had tried to influence Hunter's decision. Laurinaitis then asked Otunga if he was after his job but Otunga said he was just trying to help and that he loved his current position as assistant. 5.) WWE Divas Championship Match: Beth Phoenix defeated Eve Torres via pinfall They played up the idea that Eve was too distracted to concentrate on the match and so after an initial flurry of fists, she was soon disposed of following a clothesline and a Glam slam. 1/2 * No idea why they had to make this a championship bout but the result did play nicely into the next segment as Kane appeared on the monitors and told Eve that he was going to continue to attack Ryder until Cena embraced the hate required to topple both himself and The Rock. He then said that tonight he was going to use Eve as a conduit to pass the message along. Kane's music then hit as the big red machine appeared in the light behind Eve and threatened to attack her. John Cena made the interruption though and began brawling with his giant opponent. Kane got the early advantage but Cena powered back launching Kane into the steel steps and then picking up the steps themselves and throwing them into Kane's face. A crazed smile then lit up Cena's face as he shouted out to Kane that every time he stood up he was going to knock him down again and he proceeded to do so. Cena then cleared the announce table and got Kane in position for the Attitude Adjustment but Kane managed to drop off his shoulders before making his escape. John Laurinaitis came out. He said that before his performance review took place he had a few things to say. He said that he didn't feel panicked because he knows that everyone appreciates what he has done for the show. He then mentioned that how at every performance review each wwe employee had to go through a self-assessment grading themselves through 0-5. Laurinaitis was proud to inform everyone that he had given himself top marks for a number of categories including delivering quality results, creative influence, effective communication (ha!) and building teamwork. Triple H came out to interrupt and mocked Laurinatis self assessment. He then continued in his usual long winded fashion taking ages to get across the point that Laurinaitis had let his personal issues influence his judgement in the GM role much like himself and Vince McMahon had done previously. Laurinaitis said he'd do anything to keep the role and Trips said that he'd reconsider if he apologised to the fans. Laurinaitis then did a fantastic grovelling speech to the tune of thunderous boos which did little to persuade Hunter of his decision. He then implied that Laurinaitis was going to have to prove his loyalty by joining the infamous "kiss my ass" club. Laurinaitis proceeded to apply chapstick to his lips and Trips pretended to prepare until changing tact and laughing at the Interim GM for his willingness to degrade himself. He then got serious and said that the board of directors had deemed Hunter fit to come back and run Raw anytime he wanted and with that in mind he began to relieve Laurinaitis of his GM duties.... ....Only to stop in mid sentence as a familiar gong sounded out amongst a pitch black arena and The Undertaker made his return after a ten month absence. Accompanied by massive cheers, Taker stepped inside the ring to meet Hunter face to face, gazed at the wrestlemania sign and returned to give Hunter the familiar Tombstone neck slice taunt. Hunter then patted Taker on the back in an almost patronising fashion before leaving Taker to stare at the wrestlemania logo once more. Verdict: The road to Wrestlemania well and truly kicked off on this excellent edition of Raw. Taker's return and staredown with Hunter was beautifully atmospheric, Jericho sent out his first message to CM Punk with a codebreaker, John Cena began to embrace the hate in a convincing fashion and the Royal Rumble winner Sheamus immediately made his threat clear to the existing world champions. Not only that but we were treated to two fantastic tv matches, some good character development for world champion Daniel Bryan and John Cena as well as a wonderful verbal performance from a proud but desperate John Laurinaitis. The Royal Rumble PPV might have been quite underwhelming but this show definitely captured some of the magic associated with the wrestlemania season. My only complaint is that with Rock/Cena on the cards, there is no need whatsoever to see Taker and Trips hog time at Mania again but we all knew this match was coming months ago and so might as well see how they build towards the sequel. This year I hope we actually get to see the pair compete in some warm up matches prior to their big clash but I'm not holding my breath on that one given Taker's physical condition.