Every Bond Girl Ranked - Worst To Best
13. Dr Madeleine Swann (Spectre, 2015)
Dr Swann enjoys a certain distinction as one of only three Bond girls that 007 sees fit to elope with. At Spectre’s end, he puts the love of Dr Swann before the death of franchise villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld, and before Mi6. Leaving the author of all his pain to be taken into custody, the last shot of the film sees Bond apparently walking away from His Majesty’s Secret Service, hand in hand with Swann.
What’s less clear is why. Sure, Bond makes a connection with Dr Swann, who becomes his travelling companion after he rescues her from the burley henchman Hinx, but he’s awfully quick to fall in love with a character that hasn’t really proved to be so significant.
She’s undoubtedly smart, attractive and capable, but not so much that we can easily believe Bond’s feelings for her, considering his nigh-on impenetrable shell that hardened even more after the death of Vesper Lynd. It seems more that Madeleine Swann is a function of the film’s plot, intended to close 007’s emotional arc that began in Casino Royale, putting Blofeld, and all his personal demons behind him to make a fresh start with someone new.
Of course, considering the host of airheads in the franchise, Dr Swann enjoys a higher placement by virtue of her sheer competence, even landing a bullet on Hinx in that awesome train fight. It’s just a shame that she doesn’t quite have the effect that justifies the importance placed on her by canon.
Best moment: Her tipsiness in L’Americain. By the gods, not since Cersei Lannister has such an entertaining drunk been seen. “Come anywhere near me, and I’ll kill you.” “I don’t doubt it.” Bond has come a long way since Goldfinger's “now let’s both play!”
Worst moment: Blofeld’s scary brain-torture is intended to be devastating because Bond will die not knowing who Swann is. Sorry, but she’s no Tracy Bond, so the scene carries little of its intended weight.