You'd never know by looking at him that Captain Copernicus Leslie Qwark is, in fact, a total ninny. He's got the superhero outfit, the retail merchandise, the commanding voice, the catch phrase. He's a human "V" at its most extreme and has a jawline suggesting he's undergone plastic surgery involving brick and mortar. Of course, anyone who's actually played the games knows that it's all a facade - but a consistent one to say the least. His ego deflates the second lasers start flying, but the camera has done a fine job of putting Qwark on a pedestal, and he really sells his machismo. Fortunately for him, that pedestal is high enough to avoid all actual combat. Let the Lombax handle that part.
A freelance games writer, you say? Typically battling his current RPG addiction and ceaseless perfectionism? A fan of horror but too big a sissy to play for more than a couple of hours? Spends far too much time on JRPGs and gets way too angry with card games?
Well that doesn't sound anything like me.
