Oh, you wanted us to up the stakes a little? Okay, I can do that, whilst also providing you with one of the nuttiest conspiracy theories I've ever come across. You know Stephen King, the writer of It, Carrie, 'Salem's Lot and - coincidentally (or is it?) - The Shining? You know how, in the 80s, he sort of looked like Mark David Chapman if you squinted a lot? Why, that's because Chapman wasn't the man who gunned down John Lennon outside his New York apartment, but King himself! Working with Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan, no less! At least that's the idea that one Steven Lightfoot has been peddling since the mid-90s. Mark David Chapman was actually an actor hired to misdirect us and the media from the real culprits, who wanted to shut up the most politically accurate/nasal Beatle. Who better than burgeoning author Stephen King to do the job? Besides, obviously, an actual assassin or something. It must be King, though, because people die in 'Salem's Lot, and his novel The Dead Zone involves a political assassination. Clearly this was because the guilt was getting to much for King. Once his relief at actually managing to get away with killing someone, which he had no experience in, had worn off. This is one of my personal favourites, because it has absolutely no basis in reality. Andrew WK has had some troubles with his identity, and Stanley Kubrick did work with some NASA folk once upon a time, but there is really no evidence that Stephen King killed John Lennon. Lightfoot's investigations are centred on "government crypto-codes" found in letter columns and TIME magazine adverts which reveal the truth. That US government eh? They're famous for hiding clues about their murderous conspiracies about the place! They want to get caught!
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
