It's a little-known fact that student landlords don't need to sleep. Or if they do ever require rest, it's done whilst dangling from the ceiling, not unlike a blood-sucking vampire bat. As such, they assume that everybody is the same as them, which is why they only provide a token symbol of a bed in their properties instead of places to really sleep. Because the law prohibits them from simply furnishing bedrooms with bales of hay or stacks of boxes from the shipyards, student landlords put in the bare minimum effort when it comes to actual bedding, usually opting for a tangle of coat hangers with a mattress atop it that began life as a modern sculpture or two boxes on wheels. Neither of which are particularly serviceable beds, ensuring either you'll suffer from series spine issues in later life, or else wake up with sea sickness every morning because of rolling about in the night. Complain about one to the landlord, they'll replace it with the other. And vice versa. For time immemorial.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
