5. Only Conducts Random Spot-Checks When Everything Is Fine
There's no categorical proof of this being the case, but it's extremely likely that student landlords have their properties wired up with secret spy cameras to keep an eye on the state of the house. Like in Halloween: Resurrection, when Michael Myers hunts teens in a house full of webcams for a reality show. Only infinitely more creepy. But that must be the only way they know how to time their semi-irregular visits to their student houses. How else would they only ever turn up when there's no major issues, or when nobody's in to air their grievances, meaning they leave afterwards safe in the knowledge there's nothing they're legally obliged to sort out? It surely can't be blind luck, unless under their brand-new tracksuit/three piece suit they're covered in rabbit's feet and four-leaf clovers. There must be some way they manage to rock up when the oven's no longer on the blink, the toilet has started flushing again, and the heating works. And why all of those things break again as soon as they're out the door.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
