7. When They Give You A Run Through Of Their Bowel Movements
It doesn't matter whether you've known each other eight days or eight years; no man should have to suffer through the ins and outs of his girlfriend's digestive regime. He comes in from work, she runs out of the kitchen: "I've got food poisoning and I've been for eleven poos today. And it's been like water. I think I need help" No man needs to hear this. No only because it is a vomit-inducing piece of information, but also because picturing the person you make glorious love to on a regular basis having diarrhoea is surely one of the most off-putting images. Like, ever.