10 Things Only London Dungeon Workers Will Understand

1. People Will Pee Anywhere

Some people are okay with peeing in the street. Sure, they're mostly drunk people who are out on a Saturday night, but they exist. Some people don't even need it to be Saturday or to be really drunk, but will just whizz with wild abandon all over the great outdoors. As these things go, it's gross but kind of forgivable, especially in England where you're never more than seven minutes from a rainstorm that will wash away your stream of shame. Now, many of the areas of the London Dungeon are mocked up to look like cobbled Victorian streets. They look like they're outside... But they're inside. Magic, huh? Now, should you find yourself confused and wondering if you're outside whilst stood in the Dungeon, look up: there's a roof! You're indoors! Not on a street! INDOORS! DO NOT PEE HERE! Alas, people do. People pee everywhere. Mothers help their children take a wee on the floor whilst a long-suffering actor is trying to focus on a monologue about Mary Jane Kelly's terrible demise. Grown adults decide they don't want to miss anything by nipping out to the toilets, so they just pop a squat in a corner and carry on as if they didn't just do something terrible in another human being's workplace. One performer went to have a sip of water from her hidden glass after sending a group of visitors merrily on their way to the next section: it was warm when she picked it up. Because some evil bastard had done a tinkle in it. Some people go further. Use your imagination.
Contributor
Contributor

Jen is an actor, writer and clown, living and working in London.