In what has to be the most truly bat-cr@p insane court case in the history of mankind, we have Valerie Turks VS. P. Diddy. In 2011, Turks claimed that the rapper and businessman had fathered a child with her 24 years previously and that she was seeking back payments for child support. Nothing weird there; just part of the rap game, yo. It did get a little strange however, when she went on to claim that he had stolen a casino chip from her worth over 100 zillion dollars. She alleged that he had then given her chip to Gwen Allen. Turks asked for the meagre sum of $900 billion in child support and $100 billion in lost income. Extensive research concluded that 100 zillion dollars was in fact not a valid casino chip denomination, and that Gwen Allen was a fictional character played by Jean Harlow in the 1931 Jimmy Cagney movie, The Public Enemy. The lawsuit went on to casually accuse Puff of masterminding the 9/11 terrorist attacks with the help of his ex-girlfriend Kim Porter and the man whose beating inspired the LA riots, Rodney King. Although the extent of his involvement remains unknown, the Bad Boy For Life singer has not yet been charged with any terrorist atrocities.
Created in a petri dish in an underground lab, I was originally designed by scientists to carry out high-profile assassinations for the CIA. Unfortunately, something went wrong and my only skill was writing list-based articles. So now I do that instead.
