Now it takes all sorts, and were not judgmental types (we cant really afford to be) but some peoples fetishes and paraphilias take doing your own thing to whole new levels of wrong. A case in point is Mr. David Truscott, a man who developed a soulful crush on the cow manure at a local farm in Redruth in Cornwall, England. Yes, you read that correctly. Mr. Truscott began his courtship by stealing cowpats from the farm, but his sentimental feelings couldnt be contained, and his declarations of love began to take the form of nocturnal visits to the farm, whereupon he would roll around in liquid manure, or slurry, performing what are referred to as sex acts while almost entirely naked. Apparently hed keep one sock on where he wore it is a matter between Mr. Truscott and his diary, but weve never been more grateful for the euphemistic reporting standards of the press. When the family that runs the farm decided that no most assuredly meant no and began to have the slurry stored elsewhere, the crap romantic took the rejection poorly. Proving that hell hath no fury like a turd beguiler scorned, Mr. Truscott would be jailed in 2005, 2009 and 2011 for attempting to set fire to the property and threatening to kill the owners, and was eventually jailed for an extended ten-year sentence and remitted for medical treatment after psychiatric reports indicated that he had mental health issues. No sh*t, Sigmund.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
