3. Death By Brussels Sprouts
I've never liked Brussels Sprouts. Hate is a strong word. A very strong word indeed. But I think it may well be both apposite and applicable in this instance. I've ended relationships where my views on this foul, evil little vegetable haven't been shared. There is a discordant and sinister music in the phrase "Brussels Sprouts" which I personally find very unsettling. It matters not to me that they are actually a wonderful source of vitamin A, folacin, potassium, calcium and fibre or that these testes of Satan are low in fat and high in protein. My parents used to try and make me eat them and we'd often engage in a tense stand off as I wasn't allowed to leave the dining table until I'd finished all of the disgusting mini cabbages on my plate. Bad times indeed. However, in 2011 what was perceived as my irrational hatred of this vegetable was horribly justified when sprouts grown on an organic farm in northwestern Germany caused an E. Coli outbreak which affected 3,950 people and killed 53. Brussels Sprouts actually killed 53 people. That, my friends, is a wide awake nightmare right there: a plate of Brussels Sprouts which eventually kills you. Here's another Basil Creese Jr tip for your future self-preservation: watch yourself around rhubarb crumble. That's all I'm saying...