12 Problems You'll Only Understand If You're A Smoker

5. Being A Secret Smoker

Chandler Smoking Gif The secret smoker usually only smokes in secret because a family member or friend hates smoking so much that they have been forced into hiding. The secret smoker has a whole bag of items that should annihilate any idea anyone has of him or her smoking. This bag will include mouthwash, chewing gum, an assortment of deodorants and perfumes, and often some food (cheese and and onion crisps seem to really take the smell of smoke off your hands). The secret smoker is also a great opportunist, knowing they only have certain slots of time throughout the day where they can have a sneaky cigarette without getting caught. And the secret smoker is also very good at making excuses to do things where they can have a cigarette along the journey (although saying you're going to buy flowers for a friend and returning home empty handed because you forgot about your excuse the moment you took a drag on your cig looks awfully suspicious).
 
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Contributor

I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).