13 Problems Only Nurses Will Understand

If it’s wet and not yours, use gloves.

Do you remember what weekends are? Are you so immune to undesirable body fluids that you no longer have a gag reflex to suppress? Can you hold in a pee for hours, if your hectic job requires it? If you answered yes to all three questions - you€™re probably a nurse. Now, everyone thinks they know what a nurse is: the romanticised versions on Grey€™s Anatomy probably help form the disastrously erroneous illusion they€™re all sex-mad bimbos. Let€™s be straight, though €“ if there was one thing the nurses in TV and movies wouldn€™t be interested in (if they portrayed the profession realistically), it€™d be sex. Who has the energy for nooky after a 12 hour shift flipping angry, disorientated patients back into bed and being covered in green bile at sporadic intervals throughout the day? Ha! Oh, the media. It€™s impossible to convey exactly how much a nurse does if you€™re not in that world - understaffed and overworked - which is exactly what makes the bond between you and your team-mates so magical. You€™ll find a special kind of love within your nursey workforce: you know, like an €˜I€™ll hold the butt cheeks while you clean the crack€™ kinda love. One thing€™s for sure - laughter is definitely the best medicine, and not just for the patients...
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Human woman. Content Manager at What Culture. Lover of many "ologies", punk rock and cats. My god is Ilúvatar. Follow me on Twitter: @nina_cresswell